今天快要结束了。

还有35分钟，今天快要结束了。刚刚才把自己窝囊的一天公布。希望不愉快的心情会随着今天消失。希望这些不愉快的事会像时间一样追不回来。

当我在为自己的事烦恼时，我的一位朋友的妈妈在医院为自己的生命奋斗。10分钟后，也就是在20分钟前，我的朋友的妈妈去世了。在为她的妈妈祈祷时，我发现自己承受的压力，比起朋友的压力，显得好渺小。就像地球比宇宙。

希望烦恼会在宇宙中迷失了方向。烦恼, 永远迷路吧！

勇气跑到哪去了？

还有一个小时二月二十八日快要结束了。好多感触的一天。今天又流泪了。都是伤心的眼泪。今天第一次听到有人对我很失望。对我的评语都是不好的。不只是一个人。对自己好失望。刚刚才把破碎的自尊心捡起来，却又被这么一句话，把自尊撒满地。开始觉得自己好没有，对自己很绝望。我又开始想自己到底是不是入错行。好想勇敢的熬下去。但是勇气跑到哪去了？现在的我好想逃避。不如就辞职，一了百了。但是勇气跑到哪去了？我的泪却是换来了一句“你一点都不坚强”。我想也是。可能我对于自己的失败，还无法勇敢面对吧。我发现自己年龄越大，越难面对失败。我当年的勇气跑到哪去了？

我还能站起来吗？看扁我的人最终会对我改观吗？这些都留给将来吧。现在最重要的就是找回自己的勇气。

Don't Take Things For Granted

Do you realise that we always take the simplest things for granted. We should start counting our blessings.

My sister was telling me about a student she used to tutor. The girl has inward growing lower eyelid's lashes. The young girl has to see a doctor to remove the hair (by plucking). Ouch! We should be grateful that we have our eyelashes growing outwards.

知足常乐。。。

我生病了。。

昨天，天没亮，就被朋友的sms给吵醒了。原来是说自己感冒所以不能一起去爬山。好想和她一样继续在家里睡。一定会有很多人没来。有种预感，一定会有很多人睡不醒。

我的鼻涕也在流。为了不要扫兴，我硬着头皮死承。终于完成了爬山行动。结果不出我所料。有两位朋友睡过了头。回到家，开始觉得不舒服。看了医生才知道自己发烧了。咳。。。。结果错过了和多时没见得朋友，Raymond 的聚会。他还很有心。打电话来叫我好好休息。好感动。

今天感觉好多了。吃饱了睡。睡饱了吃。又不能运动。我看我真的肥死算了。

可爱吧？

这是我最小的表妹。人人都叫她做“胖妞”。今年刚过一岁生日。别以为她年纪小小，她是很能吃的哦！胖妞是个快乐的宝宝。可爱吧？

今晚的Company Dinner and Dance

D&D刚刚在一个小时前结束了。我赢了三包5kg的米。在新公司六个月，我已经扛了35kg的米回家了。对一个很少有人回家吃饭的家庭而言。。。。咳。。。

今晚的晚宴让我回想起去年在旧公司的晚宴。晚宴那天，也是我在公司的最后一天。好怀念哦。。有一位同事说，“平常都一致看到穿西装的人，今晚很开心能看见很平凡的人。那些人真的是来参加派对的。真的是真心诚意的来和同事们一起共度快乐的一晚。”

她的一句话让我又开始回忆起去年，我们全公司的同事都是一群很平凡，不穿西装，真心诚意的要和一起打拼的同事度过快乐的夜晚。好怀念那段不做作的日子。同事就像是一家人。我离开的那天，我的上司也哭了。ED也来向我道谢和祝贺。那晚的眼泪没有白流。

也许得不到的，失去的，才是最美好的。

照片是今晚在D&D时，和一群同事一起弄的。美美！

日本动画超cool!

我好久没看日本动画片了。记得最后一次看得时候是两年前。那时看Naruto。从第一集，不勉不休，废寝忘食，一直追到第181集。一切就在短短的两个星期就搞定了。我还真能熬。当时因为Naruto越来越不有趣了，所以就停止了这种疯狂。

最近，因弟弟的朋友介绍，我开始了我的另一次疯狂。Bleach是超赞的！我又发挥了我潜意识的耐力。在一个星期内K完第1到115集。万岁！

我看我快要加入熊猫俱乐部了。

新年又过了！

今天已经是初五了。昨天我们正式开工。心情不是很好。过年已经不像以前那么快乐了。可能是长大乐。除了除夕和家人一起吃团圆饭最开心以外，初一拜年最无聊。我们一家一家地道贺。一些亲戚还是一年只见一次面。见了面也不知该说些什么好。和那些常常见面的亲戚就好多了。话题多，在一起闹也不会觉得尴尬。

这一次拜年我发现抽空和亲人朋友相处是很重要的。我想我该抽空和好久不见的朋友聚一聚。那些有看我的blog的朋友。真是对不起。我们约个时间，聚一聚吧！

By the way, 这是去年我们全家一起去拍的全家福。By right, 家人应该是我们每天相处时间最长的人。但是在现实社会里，在商场上打拼的人，每天相处时间最长的应该是同事吧。希望我这个推测只是一竹竿打翻整艘船。

祝大家天天开心，身体健康。

好久不见！

今天我回到半年前我离开的地方。见到了半年不见的老同事。我一边走，一边跟旧同事打招呼。他们都没忘了我。好开心。

走着走着，突然会想自己到底是做错了决定吗？从旧同事的嘴里觉得，我离开是对的。但是他们可能还没有离开过，所以不知道失去和后悔的感觉。还是可能我比较suay，新的工作比以前来得差。

但是我不气馁。I can see the light at the end of the tunnel........

情人节礼物！

今年的情人节，一位好朋友为我这个lao单的女人准备了一束“花”。你们知道是什么花吗？猜猜。

也不过如此

从前一直认为他们都是高不可攀的重头级人物。但是经过那么多次的接触，我渐渐的觉得他们也不过如此。

今天我为他们感到悲哀。曾经风光已不在。现在的他们变得很可悲。今天他们是没人理会的贵宾。好像为他们加油。不知他们是否有珍惜以前的那段时光？他们是否觉得自己已是过期了？他们是否有着失落感。

看见当红的他们，我开始想，这些人会有一天也像那些人一样可悲吗? 原来他们也不过如此。

The grass is always greener on the other side

I used to dread going to work in my previous company. Now that I have left and joined a new one, there is a basis for comparison. I soon realise that my previous boss, my previous workplace and of course my ex-colleagues were much better. I couldn't say that about my job scope though.

Today, we had a gathering. The dinner was bad, the service was bad, but it's the company that counts. Really had a good time. We shared what we have went through. My ex-colleagues were not happy in my previous company. Soon we started comparing and I started to appreciate what I had in the past. I miss those days.

为什么人要到了失去后才懂得珍惜？好马不吃回头草。就算现在多么的辛苦，我都会承下去。也许再次回到那里，我又会开始怀疑自己的决定。

I See Light At The End Of The Tunnel....

It's been 6 months. I've been confirmed last week. Just a month ago, I have made up my mind to venture into this industry. It's pretty exciting. But first I have to make sure I improve on my carelessness now. I have to be extra extra extra careful.

I am no longer young. So I'm giving myself and the company a chance. Right now, I focus on my career and not the company.

This road is not going to be smooth sailing and I forsee more unhappinesses will come. But what is happiness without those things that brings your mood down. I don't want to be a nobody. I want to be somebody. The clock is ticking....

Hopefully my days in this company will last and it will not be a choice that I will regret for the rest of my life. I believe God put me here for a reason.

I am still picking up the pieces of my confidence and pride after making yet another mistake yesterday. Afterall, I am the unbeatable ME!

The Company I Am Working For Now....

I know there might be someone out there thinking that I am already very fortunate. You might be facing worse situations. My sympathies to you.

My company:
1. Has got no variable bonus (though in the contract it stated..."if the company makes money")
2. All executives and below have to punch card, even for lunch! Executives are not paid overtime even though we need to punch card.
3. Generation gaps and communication barriers. Most of the senior management are the elders in the family.
4. Someone who reads everyone's email everyday!
5. Network is always down and emails can't function properly. Even the computer technician is still a family member still in university.
6. One of the directors still live in his own world still thinking he is very experienced. Well....he's still in the A-GoGo era when we have already crossed the millenium.
7. A super bad reputation for being stingy, sacking people and being a back stabber in the industry. (Even my sister's friend from another industry knows about it!)

The list can go on and on......

But those are just my opinions. I can't say I'm a perfect employee.....

A Totally Crushed Pride

As I was saying....my pride was totally crushed. Being new in this line, I made many mistakes. But I am "proud" to say I did not make the same mistake twice. Whenever I made mistakes, I caused the company money. Though not a very big sum, but it's still money. I was beginning to feel that people around me are labelling me as the troublemaker. By the way, in this company, I was told that I don't have much time to learn from mistakes because the company is out to make money. The person who told me this, MY FOOT! If the company was really making money before I came in, it will not be still a small company.

But still pride was crushed. Confidence level plunged to rock bottom. It was hard climbing back. No longer look forward to work or rather, I have never look forward to work since I joined this company. I feel so useless.... My GM even asked me jokingly if he should serve me THE letter. I know he's not serious but I might really be not suitable for this job.

No pride, no confidence, no joy and no passion......I'm still a chicken....

The Unhappiness.....

There are really a lot of unhappiness in this current job. Not enough nice things to make up for it. Many things happened here are super demoralizing. I was beginning to feel worthless and a burden to others.

I was penalized for a mistake that I made during my 2nd week in the company. One of the directors told me that I am not suitable for the job. He hinted that I should think of other options.

Then my direct boss told me that I was not working hard enough (does that mean I have to work overtime to prove my worthiness!!???). And I was penalized for using MSN. Everyone else in the office is using. I give up.

On my birthday, the managing director asked me what I have been doing in the past 3 months! Of course that old man won't know anything. He's been pretending to look out of his room and all the while he's been sleeping. Well what can I say? He's the boss. The owner of the business. By the way, did I mention it's a family business? Things can't get any worse, can it? Well YES it can!

4 months into the job. My boss tells me that since she's not in the office all the time, it wasn't easy for her to appraise me for my confirmation. So I was supposed to write out in details what I have done for every single day! This is absolutely unacceptable. Absurd! I was lost for speech and dammed, I was a chicken to quit that very minute....

It had been 3 months

I really congratulate myself for lasting 3 months in the company. I witness one colleague resigning in just one month into my new job. That colleague was my pillar of strength. A very nice lady whom I still call to complain about work once in a while now.

I see three new colleagues coming in. All from the industry and very experienced. But all are not happy with the company's system. Well...it's the system that I have been tolerating for the past 3 months. Finally people who share my sentiments.

It was such a relief that we could complain all we can during lunch time. Working life seems to be getting better. It was even better when God bless me with a colleague who is also a Christian. We tried to encourage each other with God's words.

We were still trying to get used to the company....

The First Blow...I Want To Quit Now!

When I first stepped into the company.....
Oh MY GOD! What have I landed myself into. The place is pathetically small compared to my previous company. There are so few people in the company. Why didn't I heed my friend's advise to avoid this company? I was regretting. But then again, would things be better if I have stayed in my previous company? I needed to grow.

I told myself to stick around and see. I began to learn some new things. But no one was free enough to help me. No one was around to teach me. I have to start learning on my own. It was difficult when people aren't as friendly and work is so different (from out in the field running the whole day to sitting at my desk the whole day!). How can Maggie the talkative and active girl be so deskbound???

I was beginning to feel that I have bad breath due to the lack of opportunities to open my mouth to talk.

One of the directors had her eyes on me for the whole week. She would stand behind me without any making any noise, thinking that I won't notice her. Well I really won't if she was an ANT for goodness sake!

The next thing I know after a week was my boss telling me that I don't seem to be doing much work. I was regretting BIG TIME!

The Decision That Changed My Life

At the beginning of the year, I was not very happy with my job. Though it can be quite fun sometimes, but it was really getting to me. I no longer could enjoy my workplace like I used to. Things have gotten stagnant and it was not getting me anywhere. I was not getting what I want. I seldom make mistakes and usually have my own way.

I was beginning to think that I was made for something bigger and more exciting. Hence I started applying for a job. Finally got a job and I thought "Whoa! Here's my big breakthrough!" I tendered my resignation and that was 6 months ago.

My designation got demoted and but I got a pay raise. So that made up for the little dent on the ego part.

But this decision changed my life totally. For better or for worse...I've yet to really verify.