The Pressure of Being the Eldest

I am the eldest in my family. I have a sister, 4 years younger than me, and a brother, 8 years younger than me.

Since primary school, I was given an important task to be a role model to my siblings. Initially, I thought that just being myself would be a good enough. However I soon realise it was not so.

At home, I was always the one to be taking over the wok from my mother when she was busy. I was the one who irons all the clothes and the one responsible for all siblings quarrel and anything that went wrong. I have to behave myself or else my siblings will always compare, "Why can big sister do this and why can't I?". When I tried to compare, my parents' answers were always, "Because they are younger than you. You have to set an example." I have lose my previlage to make mistakes.

In school, as all three of us went to the same primary and secondary schools, I have the pressure to do well. I was to set an example to my siblings. Teachers always says, "Your big sister is such a hardworking girl. You must learn from her." I was taught to believe that if I don't do well, my siblings might not too. I was glad I pulled through. I managed to be ahead of them in terms of studies.

My sister and I have reached adulthood and joined the work force. She found a good paying job in a good company. I was giving myself pressure to climb the social ladder faster than her, earn more than her and etc.

I am telling myself to quit giving myself this kind of pressure. But I guess it's a hard-to-quit old habit.

How does the younger ones feel?