2008年的最后一个blog entry

今天老板终于“觉悟”了。提早30分钟让我们下班。我想是因为经济不好，从去年的60分钟前下班减到今天的30分钟。我想我也应该知足了。至少有提早下班。

2008年是个对我来说是个有欢笑，也有眼泪的一年。年初我的头头离开公司。本以为我的挡箭牌没了，接下来就得接大老板的飞箭了。还担心自己会被乱箭射死。但是快一年了，我还是安然无恙，还保持刀枪不入的状态。能走到2008年的最后一天，真的不容易。过程充满了泪水和叹气生。但是还好我是打不死的蟑螂。我在远方瞭望到我的出头天了。加油！

2008年也有很多灾难；天然的和人造的。从中，许多感人的故事和伟大的英雄诞生了。没有挑战就找不到真英雄。值得欢笑的是有很多。最基本的是我还活着。接下来就是我的干儿子来到了这个世界。显然生命是如此的容易让我感到知足，让我喜悦。

啊，2009年了。大家新年快乐！因为住在市区，周围都有倒数派对。烟花炮轰的声音开始响起。灿烂夺目的花在漆黑的夜空盛开着。一朵比一朵更令人感动。还记得有一年我看着烟花流着眼泪，被感动冲昏了头。

标题应该改成“2008年最后和2009年第一个blog entry”。2009年的第16分钟。。。好累。。。

Frustration of Men

Today I experienced the frustration of men when women ask them for opinions. We are self-contridicting creatures.

Case 1:
My business partner asked me opinion on an artwork. I suggested changing the text but she said "I want to keep the text. You got other suggestions?" I repeated, "I'm fine with everything except the text. Change it and you'll be fine." She replied, "But I want to keep the text leh...how?". I kept my silent. End of converstation.

Case 2:
Colleague: Should I have kids?
Me: Yes you should.
Colleague: But I can't imagine myself having kids.
Me: Then don't have it.
Colleague: But everyone around me want me to have kids, all except me.
Me: If you are okay, then have kids lor.
Colleague: But it's tough having kids.
Me: Up to you. Sometimes the more you think, you will never have kids.
Colleague: I'm getting old liao. Cannot afford to think so long.
Me: Then have kids. Don't think.
Colleague: But my back got problem. My husband and I are like two big children.
Me: Then don't have kids.
Colleague: I don't know. Should I have kids?

Case 1 & 2 happened in just 2 hrs span... Spare me!

公司的气氛沉重

因为全球金融海啸，很多公司也没被幸免。为了让公司继续生存，唯一能做的就是宣告莫些员工阵亡。到底公司会如何选择“干掉”哪些员工呢？老板会选择能干的新兵，还是忠心的老臣？

因为裁员，员工的勾心斗角越来越严重了。大家都想保住饭碗。但是老实说，留下来的未必有好日子，一个人做两个人的工作，工钱没加可能还会减薪。走的可能是上帝知道你不走就不会去找更好的机会。有很多曾经被裁的人，回头想想，还得感谢裁掉他们的人。没有裁员，他们就永远找不到他们的财源。

Confess and Think Positively

Recently in church, my pastor shared a great discovery.

In Japan, a scientist, Dr. Masaru Emoto did an experiment on the effects of words, music and thoughts on water. http://www.life-enthusiast.com/twilight/research_emoto.htm

He found out that positive words and thoughts produces beautiful crystals in water while words of negativity produces no crystals or ugly ones.

Adult humans are made up of 70% water. Hence any positive confessions and thoughts towards ourselves will have a positive effect on us. Foetus are made up of almost 100% water, that means 胎教 is very important.

Dear friends, do speak positively about others and yourself. When you do that, make sure you are thinking what you say too. Because the person's water content can feel whether you think of him/her positively or negatively.

To my dear habitual pessimistic friend, 不要一直往坏的方面想。往往事情原本没有那么糟糕，可能是被你越想越糟。

他刚刚交了女朋友

你们应该知道“他”是谁吧。

我？没什么感觉。就是一个朋友交了女朋友。应该是因为很早以前就放弃了这个念头吧。祝福他们。

The Colleague Who Loves To Give Advise Part 2

昨天JC有开了一个话题，又是针对我的。Buay tahan。

JC: Maggie, 我想你不应该喜欢这个industry (video industry)。因为是个sunset industry。

Maggie：我没有说我喜欢video。我是说我喜欢movies。

JC: 那你有打算move on 吗？你不是说新加坡的industry很小吗？难道你要等到有opening才走？

Maggie: 眼光不一定只是在本地。海外也有机会的。

JC: 那你还在等什么，先在就可以apply了。为什么还在这里？

Maggie: 我要学多一点东西才想要apply海外的工作。

JC: 不用，你可以去apply了。（她又说了很多）。。。。你要move forward。

Maggie: 我有在move forward啊（因为我觉得我还在学东西。）

JC:你不要那么defensive。

Maggie:那你跟我说了那么多，objective是什么？

In the end, 我们的谈话被一个colleague打断了。我不想跟她多谈了。为什么一定要找我开刀。旁边还有colleague说想找份govt工作，她连一封resume都没有寄。JC自己也常埋怨自己的工作没有variety。自己还不是退掉自己梦寐以求的工作两次。

The Colleague Who Loves To Give Advise Part 1

最近我发现有一个colleague常常会找一些话题来给advise when no one needs it. 以下是我跟她的一次conversation。我们就叫她JC

JC: Maggie你有想过要找怎样的老公吗？

Maggie: 不知道自己要的是什么，但是跟男人接触多了，应该说自己知道不要怎样的男人。

JC: 那如果那个男人赚钱比你少，你会接受吗？

Maggie: 我赚钱已经很少了。如果男生比我大5岁，赚钱还比我少，那就完蛋了。他一定有问题。

JC: 如果男生读书比你少，ok吗？

Maggie： 读书少但是有本事，能赚钱应该ok。

JC： 但是读书少的往往是Ah Beng。你们会合得来吗？

Maggie： 不知道，要看咯。不是每个读书少的就是Ah Beng。

JC：那如果那个男人不是Christian，你会接受吗？

Maggie：如果他能接受我为我的神所做的一切，又对Christianity has an open mind。我想没有很大的问题。

JC: Maggie, 不是这样的。。。。。。。。。（她说了很多，所以不想写了。）

Maggie: So what's the point of you telling me all these?

JC：我只想告诉你，不要desperate。不要随便就接受any man。

Maggie: 我几时让你觉得我desperate to find a husband?

JC: 我没有说你desperate。我是说你不要desperate。

晕倒。最后我就不想跟她多说这个topic了。。。

用人不疑，疑人不用

刚从日本回来，有好多东西要做。我快疯了。

星期一，managing director走到我的桌子问我一些买片的事。我跟他说我已经在follow up了，只是卖家没有回应。然后我接着告诉他我也没有闲着，我还在买片。那些比较有指望的片子比较重要，就先解决那些事。

他说：“你的意思是你没有时间咯。”

我说：“是”

然后我就跟president说我跟MD说的事。MD最后问president我是否真的那么忙。President说“是”。我想用屁屁想也知道，之前走了那么多人，工作都落在我们生存者的手里，六个人的工作变三个人做。那里不忙。MD就是这样。老是疑神疑鬼，好像全世界的人都在骗他。

好想对MD说，“用人不疑，疑人不用。不要用‘我在栽培你’的借口来加重我的工作却不给我increment。”

上帝，离开的时辰到了吗？

Temples, wishes and hopes

Ueno has lots of nice small temples with simple architecture. I was curious about why there are old people carrying plastic bags going around picking things among the trees. They are picking gingko nuts.

Tokyo Station

Finally the day for me to explore Tokyo. First stop to Tokyo Imperial Palace near Tokyo Station. As it was a Saturday, it was not open to public. The palace looks humble on the outside with white and stoned walls. But there is a hint of extravagence and grand architecture beaming with pride from the inside. Very Japanese.

The place that I stayed for 5 nights

I walk this road to work every morning and take this train to Roppongi. At night, it's time to relax. Shinjuku comes alive after office hours. Street performer (I saw him again at Ueno on Saturday) and people playing Pachinko (aka jackport similar). There are street performing every night and these talented people are waiting to be discovered by talent agencies and their big break.

The Place That I Go For Meetings For 3 Days

Tokyo Tower finally lit up at sun set 5.30pm. Pretty and worth the wait. It was a rainy day that day.

Mori Tower is the place I go for meetings at 40th storey. I could feel the pressure on my ears everytime I travel up and down.

我是旅客！第五天。

今天的行程排得满满的。早上九点就出发了。第一站，Tokyo Station。我要去看Imperial Palace。不知道为什么，我下了地铁，随便走就走到了皇宫。皇宫的外表很humble，但是里面一定非同凡响。从外面看，围墙的另一边又western和japanese的building。觉得这跟日本人的culture一样。外表看起来很humble，但是心里的ego却很大。路边的叶子变色了。好美哦！这也表示秋天已经开始了。

第二站，Ueno Station。来这里的目是看Hachi-ko的标本。它的标本就在National Science Musuem里面。花了500￥进去museum看了很多fossils。也看到了我想看的Hachi-ko。By the way, Hachi-ko是只狗。它是日本著名的loyal dog。在Ginza也看到了日本人在公园里捡ginko nuts。公园里有很多gingko trees。我把他们的行为偷拍了下来。嘿嘿。。。在这里也很巧的碰见那时在Shinjuku地铁站外耍“水晶球”的street performer。

第三站，Asakusa Station。那里有东京最古老的神殿。真的好大。Devotees所做的每一件事，都好熟悉。当然是从日剧那里看来的。Asakusa是的古区。那里还保留了古代的建筑。在这里用街边买的零食，就解决了午餐。

最后一站，我又回到了Shibuya。这次是为了看Hachi-ko的statue。那时来错过了。这次一定要拍了照片，才满足。晚餐就在这里解决。尝试了新的吃法。今天吃beef rice bowl。但是是间连锁店。那种快吃，吃了就走的那种。是在bar top吃。地方很小，但是因为顾客来去很快，所以客人都不需等太久就有位了。今天还逛了HMV和Tokyu Hands。在Tokyu Hands找到了我要得2009 planner。开心！

明天还有点时间。会到Harajuku看年轻人玩cosplay。一定会回来。但是回来之前，会先把日文搞好。我最常用的词汇是"sumimasen"和"arigato gozaiimas"。下次会更好。

Soo soo!

Yeah！最后一天的工作

今天好开心。那个女人会新加坡了。早上起来还不忘打电话向她问好。要她到机场的当儿要小心。我的气消了。没事了。见不到就不生气了。

今天虽然会议不多但是我还是没有办法早回。最后一个会议在五点。天啊！我就在Roppongi和咖啡，闲逛，再喝咖啡。午餐跟一个business partner一起吃。所以吃得好一点。觉得有点无聊。天气又不好。昨晚的雨好像没有停过。这场雨一直下到7点多。

虽然无聊但是有些事却让我有点兴奋。第一，我看到有一群人在举牌抗议。还有loudspeaker咧。第二，我看见东京铁塔在gloomy的evening sky亮起来了。哇，好浪漫！东京铁塔真美。比在电视或照片上看还要美。今天的一切就像是上帝的安排。虽然一开始觉得很无聊，为什么会议那么迟。但是看到美丽的东京铁塔，一切的等待是值得的。

晚上没去那里。要在酒店plan我明天的行程。要做一天的tourist。到Takashimaya买了discounted的bento set。因为要关门的所以有discount。原来手脚要快。不可以想太久。好吃的都被别人抢光了。

第三天的entry

今天的entry会很长。因为有好几天没有blog了。因为每天都在外面“流浪”到很迟，回到酒店跟朋友msn，做report，洗澡，等等。。。，累坏了。

东京，第三天
昨天差点没被气死。被那个女人backstabbed。她居然跟老板说我没让她一起去开会。骗子！明明是她自己不要参与的嘛。昨晚上说要讨论我们的工作的收获，最后只有我自己在说，简直就像是向她报告。没办法咯。谁叫她是老板的“干女儿”。
今天她决定跟我一起去开会了。但是她英文或日文都不会说。只是跟对方交换名片，然后说"Nice to meet you."。最后还是坐在那里6微笑，装听得懂。

今天的午餐吃便当。好贵的便当，要600￥（S$8.80)。只有饭跟Japanese curry。唯一的安慰是便当车的老板好帅。就当作花钱看帅哥吧。今天的会议不多，很早就能回酒店了。但是旁晚下了小雨。不知道会不会影响我晚上的节目。

晚上到了Shibuya逛街。没什么好买的。逛了一栋109大厦，我快疯了。脚好痛，肩膀很酸。晚餐吃得很饱。晚餐比较值得。580￥有一碗饭和一碗soba。是那种能站着吃的地方。但是我累垮了，所以坐着吃。

回酒店的路程中，我突然了解为什么日本人很少有胖的。除了饮食习惯，日本也有很多楼梯。我转的每一个corner都会face with 楼梯。在我很累的时候，我在想我这个trip爬的楼梯可能比我半年爬的楼梯还要多吧。

明天是会议的最后一天。。。期待。

第二天，觉得好累

今天一大早就起床。认床，所以睡不着。今天的约会排得满满的。好累哦！没喝够水，所以头痛死了。回来酒店我已经不想见到我不想见到的人了。然后还被那个人冤枉。幸亏老板的妹知道发生什么事。

今天晚餐到一间小拉面馆吃。终于在拉面的发源地吃拉面了。真好吃！吃饱了便到处逛。昨天看见很多人在玩抓娃娃机。以为很容易。本想抓几只娃娃送给朋友。抓一次100￥。最后花了200￥还是爪子空空。不玩了，骗人的。

然后到地铁站门口看街头艺人表演。那位男生表演在10秒内把方块各转回原来的颜色，还有单手耍5立水晶球（其实我们都被骗了。“水晶球”原来是rubber balls）。但是还是耍得很好。围观的人可能有60位吧。日本就是人才济济。我把身上的零钱（约40￥给了他。感谢他为我带来10分钟的快乐。）

明天快点把事做完，要去逛街咯！

日本，东京，新宿 （第一天）

今天早上在新加坡机场还有一点紧张。不知道自己会不会从成田机场(Narita Airport)到酒店。因为语言不通所以有点担心。今天有很多第一次，第一次真正的自己出国公干。第一次搭SIA，第一次到日本，第一次自己出国那么紧张。

真的，上帝对我实在太好了。这次的行程很满，所以没有机会到富士山(Mt Fuji)，看看。但是在飞机上，坐在我旁边的印度先生突然指着窗外的三角形。原来那是富士山的peak。他说我真的很幸运，他一年到日本四次，都很少看到，这次我第一次来就看到了。至少看到富士山的peak，没有觉得很可惜了。

昨天internet check-in的时候，我还想换位子，但是最后还是没换。没换是对的。我和印度先生的中间没人，所以有自己的空间。也就是坐在那里才知道富士山的peak长得怎样。最后，印度先生还很好心得带我去买前往新宿(Shinjuku)的地方。他自己是要搭巴士的。耽误了他好多时间。真是让我遇贵人了。买了车票后，才发现只剩4分钟，地铁就要走了。如果miss掉，3，000+￥的车票就不能用了。距离有约200m。我背着一大一小的backpacks做200m dash. 让我赶上了。进了地铁过不了多久，门就关了。今天的机场也比平时来的少人。印度先生还说"You very lucky"。有上帝照着，哪里会不lucky.

今天也是大姨妈的第二天。通常我会在这个时候cramp到死去活来。但是没有cramp。太棒了。

酒店很容易就找到了。我pray过要8pm到酒店。印度先生还说有点难。

这里的人好会穿衣服。我好像，哦巴桑一样，衣服好orbit。走在新宿的街道上，仿佛自己在日剧里面。好浪漫！这里只有20c。 自己好像在一个很大很大的aircon room。厕所的马桶还能帮我洗屁屁。

太棒了。。。爱上日本。。。

满满伟大的理想

小时候看着电视，就希望能认识电视里的人。渐渐的长大后，我开始了解电视里的人在一个叫做娱乐圈的地方工作。当时好想进娱乐圈工作，但是又不想成为一个艺人。在我读大学的时候，朋友问我，我的理想工作是什么。我说我想进娱乐圈但要做艺人背后重要的人。回想起来，我好像不知不觉地走到这条道路。虽然还称不上是艺人背后的重要人物，但是这个梦想已经不是只是个梦想了。至少我看得见眼前的路该怎么走。

但是要怎样成为艺人背后重要的人呢？我终于了解为什么我会感受得到艺人选择自杀的痛苦。我很希望能帮助他们。

其实每个人都有自己的一条路要走。如果走错路，这条路会走得很坦克。如果走对了，再怎么辛苦都是值得的。我觉得，现在我走的这条路虽然走得辛苦，但是走得很满足。公司不好并不代表工作不好。这几天的烦恼终于戒除了。

我又为了我的理想作了些什么呢？现在我在开始学怎么辅导我们一般的民众。可能是在为未来做准备。走到今天，好像就是早有安排。

我的另一个梦想就是能出一本书。一本用照片和文字来辅导和鼓励别人的书。然后再为常常被误解的艺人出一本书。内容就好像书名《让你了解XXX》。希望这本书能让民众接触对艺人的误解。现在的我，学摄影变得更有意义了。

以前的我只想做自己喜欢的事。但是这种喜欢是短暂的。一直到我得到启发后，这种喜欢才能持久。我的理想有了充满意义的目标。一个能帮助人，能改变一个人的一生的目标。

不管将来的路好不好走，我相信，只要沿着自己的路走，不要迷失方向。我一定能抵达终点。朋友们，你也要加油哦！

Is there really no other way?

I think people who have been following the entertainment news would have read that in a span of two months, two Korean celebrities have committed suicide. I searched the web and most of the celebrities commit suicide because of false rumours. I really understand the meaning of 人言可畏.

Sometimes I would ask myself, "Is there really no other way?" I felt very burdened by their sadness. Don't they have anyone to talk to? What went through their mind the moment when they want to end their life? Why can't they seek help? It's not the end of the world. People in the 3rd world country and struggling to survive in the midst of their poverty, while people in the modern countries get troubled by wagging tongues. Why didn't someone reach out to them to help them tide over the difficult situations? Celebrities have to suffer such greater setbacks in the same situations than normal people like us.

Most of the times, I wished I had the ability to be a listening ear and help them. What can I do?

我这样算自私吗？

这几天我在想我这样想，算不算自私。

因为莫种原因，我的工作包括了当buyer。这几个月，外国有几个trade events。以为这次能出国见识一下trade events是什么一回事。但是最后发现没有我的份。出国见识的机会给了另外两个同事。

老板说她们没有当这方面buyer的经验，要我教她们买东西的equation。老实说，我也没有经验。我花了一个星期的时间做研究，打了一份报告。最后我决定不把所有我搜查到的资料给她们。我只给了最基本的资料。反正最后获益的不是我，所以我觉得没有必要给她们太多。

现在，她们两个人在韩国。还得教其中一个如何当buyer，如何negotiate。我在新加坡发号施令，cover她们的work。

今天其中一位打电话来问是否要买一批货，要用多少钱去买。老板也知道这件事，便叫我教教这位同事。我不在现场，所以只能叫她收集资料。回到新加坡后我再跟联络人洽谈。我好累。不知道自己为什么要那么拼命。好处都没有我的份。对公司而言，能者多劳嘛。

我想老板一定是很“看得起”我吧。觉得我不需要到trade show就能当buyer。真省钱！

有一天我离开这里，我不会把我自己所累积的知识教那两位同事。希望她们能原谅我自私的想法。

I finally understood...

Recently, I am feeling the same feeling I felt during my last days in my previous job. I began to dread coming to work everyday. I was feeling frustrated at why I was feeling this way and what about my current job that led me to this stage. I tried talking to my close colleagues and friends and still not able to find an answer.

Finally I spoke to someone influential in this industry and understood why I am feeling this way. My current boss could not give me a vision that I needed, or rather I can agree with. To me, he is not able to lead me. I'm just running forward without a direction. I am like a soldier gunning down enemies without understanding what I am fighting for.

I've never regretted joinging this company. Although eventually I didn't get what I really want, at least I manage to clearly understand what I don't want. Knowing all these, I am able to let go of things that I have been holding on too tightly.

Cheers to a happier future!

世界上最远的距离。

昨天很巧的，在聚会，ESY就坐在我的后面。但是我们只说了一句话。我问他“你要不要吃糖”。ESY说：“Ok, thanks.”。过后聚会开始，就算有机会跟身边的人说话，他的对象从来都不是我。

我跟他的距离很近。我听得到他的笑声，也听得到他在唱歌和祷告。但是我却觉得我离他很远。比我跟舞台的牧师的距离更遥远。心中有点冷。

聚会后，很巧的，我跟ESY一起在吃饭，我们的身边都坐着十几个朋友。他就坐在我的对面。先在几乎能听到他的呼吸。但是他的目光总是在其他人的身边。坐在桌子尾端的朋友都能跟他聊天，我们只有对着对方微笑。看着他和其他朋友有说有笑，有点羡慕。

那顿午餐，让我深深的体会到什么是“世界上最远的距离就是我在你身边，你却不知道我喜欢你。”

蟑螂被打死了

我连仗都还没打，就已经可以举白旗了。

刚才朋友告诉我，牙医有打算出国深造。所以目前没有交女朋友的念头。嘿。。。我放弃了。看吧，朋友们，我可不是打不死的蟑螂。

各位，请不要给我那种“你还有机会”或“等他回来”的念头了。

Get Real!

Recently, a colleague of mine, LSM started becoming a nusiance to my colleagues and I. His designation says "graphic designer". However he does not work like one, though his attitude screams one.

In entertainment industry, it is probably easier to strike lottery than not get any last minute and extremely urgent jobs. He should know since he has been in this industry longer than I am. He's being ridiculous to demand all jobs to be given to him 3 days in advance.

His "designer attitude" is unbearable. Well if he has the creativity and the talent, by all means throw his weight around. I do not care about his attitude as long as I get my job done. But with LSM, it's job not done properly + "designer attitude".

Today, I just commented on an artwork and requested he do minor changes. He came back with an email explaining why I should appreciate his artwork.

1. He spent a long time conceptualising it.

2. He feels that his is simple. And simple is good.

Eventually, he said he will make the changes. So this is what I want to read. Waste my time reading his reasons.

Get real! Who cares how long you have worked on it. If the client (me) is not happy, you ain't getting any dough. It's the real world. You can work on something for 3 years for all I care, if eventually it's not what the client wants, change!

He kept thinking that everyone is against him. But I think he should reflect on himself when all colleagues liasing with him finds the same problem with him. Even our working partners are facing the same problem. Check your metre ruler, try measuring yourself before complaining that other people's metre ruler is not accurate.

I wonder with all these frustrations, why am I not getting any slimmer. Sigh...

朋友们谢了！

朋友们，谢了。但是PSN说我坚持不渝也好，叫我毅力不到也好，叫我意志坚强也可以，不需要把我比喻成蟑螂吧。还是打不死的蟑螂嘞。哈哈哈！客位，我没事了。其实我现在比较concern的是我的training to become a cell group leader。有点stress。

最近生病了。医生给了我3种药。我说这3种药有点矛盾。2种药吃了会cause drowsiness。第三种吃了cannot sleep or lie down for the first 2 hours。我真的很能dong，不要躺下或睡觉。但是很辛苦。这些药好像在考验我的意志力噎。还有两天要就吃完了。希望药到病除，不需再吃。。。

有一点失望。。。但是没事！

从现在开始“他”就简称“ESY”。

本来还很期待十月的来临。因为我能和ESY在一个activity里互动1.5个月。咳。。。昨天朋友告诉我不可能了。ESY 会出国，所以他不会出席那个activity。害我白高兴一场。先在唯一能多了解他的机会都没了。朋友说可能不是时候，因为 ESY 先在的 focus 可能不是在感情上。他先在可能 focus 是在 how to be a good servant of the Lord。我了解也接受了。

可能上帝觉得还不是时候吧。可能时机不对。如果先在开始，可能也不会有结果。我看着办吧。已经不想再多费神，执著于早已注定的事情。经历过那种执著的痛苦，怕了。先在我会 get on with life。怎么说，我还有一群好朋友陪我晚上一起上webcam一起笑，一起聊天。

我知道，TCC一定在想：“这个CSK很Ah Q 嘞”

Why must I be dragged into this battle?

I've always considered myself as a neutral party when it comes to office politics. I want to be sitting on the fence.

I am happy that I am getting a bigger portfolio at work. However, that slice of the pie is taken from my boss' plate. Being a possessive person, she will definately be not happy about it. Anyway, my boss has a way of keeping her slice of pie in her own plate. She has done it twice, she can do it the 3rd time.

I'll just pray hard that God will show me the way avoid fighting and still win.

I'm innocent...

是不是就是他。。。

认识他有两年了吧。每次见面只是打招呼而已，并没多说什么。朋友曾经跟我说过我们两个站在一起时，看起来很配。但是我也没有想太多，就让这个remark过去了。

两年后，有一天，因为莫种原因，我们坐在出现在同一个聚会里。我不知不觉成了他的助手。那是突然脑子里有一个念头，这个男人挺不错的。他lead我做事的时候，我感觉很好。可能这辈子lead人太多了。被lead的感觉很好。我越想越多，还想到嫁给这样的男人应该会很幸福吧。哈哈！真的是想太多。刚好我的朋友是他的mentor，所以就问朋友他是怎样的人。朋友说他是一个passive的人，如果我不主动，是得不到结果的。所以我还是和从前一样，不能享受被追求的感觉。又是我追别人。咳。。。曾经这位朋友有建议我考虑他，但是我当时拒绝了。对，我 take back my words。

他是个很斯文，很踏实的人。很meek也很善良。做事很认真。最重要的是，他爱上帝。但是我不知道喜欢他哪一点。但是我认识这种喜欢的感觉。很踏实，很真。不像以前那些relationships那么的不切实际的感觉。我会记得这种喜欢的感觉。就算将来我的真命天子不是他，我也会依这种感觉为表准。

祝我好运！

p.s.如果想知道他长什么样子，我的facebook有他。。。嘿嘿嘿

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are very passionate and quite temperamental. While you can be moody, you always crave comfort. You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds. You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself. Your near future is a lot like the present, and as far as you're concerned, that's a very good thing. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

You Are Pasta Puttanesca

Compared to most people, you have a sexy and wild personality. So it fits that you're like a pasta popularized by street walkers! You like food with interesting, contrasting, and spicy flavors. You live an exciting life - and you wouldn't ever go for anything bland.

What Pasta Dish Are You?

You See the World Through Yellow Colored Glasses

You live your life with optimism. You remain happy through the bad times, and your outlook remains bright. You judge all interactions through the lens of hope. You try to see the best in people, and you give them the benefit of the doubt. You face challenges with a spirit of adventure. Things are what they are, so you might as well make the best of them. You see love as the utmost expression of personal joy. You tend to be attracted to lively, friendly people. At your worst, you are a bit petty and jealous. You want to be everyone's shining star. You are happiest when you're daydreaming or thinking up fresh ideas.

What Color Glasses Do You See the World Through?

我还是哭了。

臭TCC，你好样的。一个sms让我破功。我哭了啦。还以为不去送机应该没事了。最后一个sms就让我哭了。好吧，笑吧，笑到肚子痛，活该。

自己一个人住还习惯吗？公寓还合“胃口”吗？你保重啦。

友谊万岁！

我的标题应该会被投诉很“怂”吧。虽然很老套，但是，我的心里真的是这么想的。

今天有空，所以就update自己的blog，也到好朋友们的blog读一读她们的心情。原来nee和nic都在blog TCC即将要到bkk做工的事。我们这群朋友一路走来编制了很多美好的回忆。从刚认识时，一起K书，到毕业一起拿成绩。然后大家一起上大学，现在已经在社会工作了有5年了吧。从中，受到了不少她们的鼓励，也希望自己也有赵富她们。我们的友谊从开始的一起开心，到互相包容，到互相勉励，这一路走来，不容易。好感动。对她们有千言万语的话要说，但是说不出口。我们都是十年的朋友了，应该不许多说什么吧。我们的友谊，唯一小小的遗憾就是牵不住ling的手。。。希望有一天她能归队。。。可能只能希望了。

这里有一些话想对我这非一般朋友说。

TCC: 你终于勇敢的踏出第一步。你就像是一块被石头包着的好玉。这次是你被调成器的时候了。你会是个无价之宝。加油！

Annie：真的是 A for Annie。我们读书时就是这样了，现在还是这样。好的你都有。很开心你有一个对你好的HN，一份好的工作，还常常中lucky draw。要珍惜你身边所有的 A。

Nee： 很佩服你不管旁人的意见和眼光，想做，认为是对的，你都会去做。你对小孩的爱心无限。真的对你由衷的佩服。因为你所是的，我都不是。为你找到理想的工作感到快乐和幸福。

Zhen： 为人师表。读到你的blog，很开心知道你受到学生的欣赏。你不知道你蛮搞笑吗？是你自己不知道吧。你是除了nee以外，有一份伟大的工作的人。希望你能交出漂亮的成绩！

Swing：要有伟大的梦想，把你的爸爸的公司发扬光大。你是行的。到时候不要忘记我们哦！希望你的他能带给你幸福。看得出他很疼你。。。

Ｃｈｒｉｓ：你读不懂就找字典。但是我不会写太难读的东西。华语对你而言，一切从简。我认识你最久，但是见你最少。要努力让自己健康起来。这样才能一起去ｇｙｍ。

最后我要呐喊：“友谊万岁！Ｈｕａｔ　ａｈ！”

我会想你的。

虽然我们平时已经不常常见面，但是这次不一样，已经不是想见就见了。

昨天msn时忘了问你是达几点的飞机。现在我在blog时，不知道你上飞机了没。如果还没，我祝你一路顺风，如果上了，应该还没到，所以还是祝你一路顺风。说好了不会去送你，就不去。我也不喜欢这种离别的心情。记得最后一次送机时送他。感觉就像是我们永远都不会再见了。虽然脸上表现得若我其实，但是心已经是在颤抖着，酸酸的。好害怕这次如果大家要去送机，我应该会哭，然后被你们取笑个十年吧。

TCC，那天在一起吃晚餐时，真的很开心。虽然没有山珍海味（幸亏没有，要不然迟一些，全部就送给马桶了），但是跟你们一起吃，比山珍海味更好。Sorry, 没办法多跟你聊天，好可希。多谢上帝造就了伟大的电脑专才，发明了msn。好了，还是不要说了。再说下去，我真的会哭的。

我们很快会再见的。在再见面之前，我们就带着对彼此的回忆，在心里想念。保重，老朋友！

Yes, my nick is 满满

I think most of my friends now would have discovered that my nickname is called 满满. Although it sounds "cheena", it's a good name. The nickname means full, just like my current figure and like my optimism. I rather see an empty cup as filled with air.

I pray that with this nick, my
purse will be 满满 with money and not receipts
brain will be 满满 with knowledge and not worries
heart will be 满满 with joy, happiness and peace and not sadness
figure will be 满满 at the boobs and not at the arms, thighs, waist and hips
days be 满满 with laughters and not tears

So 满满 is not a bad nick to have as long as it is not 满 at the wrong place.

My friend is going to work overseas

Though I already have friends and relatives living overseas for quite a number of years already, this time feels different. Finally she is taking a leap of faith for a possibily better future.

To: TCC
TCC, you must jia you! In this 3 months (yes, you heard me correctly, only 3 mths), you must do you best. We in Singapore will cheer for you in Bangkok (yes, correct again. not very far). If don't know how to cook anything or need encouragement, I am one msn away.

TCC jia you! TCC jia you! TCC jia you!

Would you want to be this person?

Would you want to be born a ADHD (hyperactive) child?
Would you want to have a long and thin torso with arms disproportionate to your height and short legs?
Would you to have a size 14 feet and double-jointed ankles (ankles that can bend beyond the point of a ballet dancer and can cause some complications)?

Sounds sad? Sounds challenged? Sounds weird? Thank God you weren't born that way?

Well...if you were Michael Phelps, you thank God for being born that way or today, you will never be the world's greatest athele with 8 golds in one Olympics (the most), applauded by the world.

My point is never look down on the physical appearance or personality you were born with because you are designed to excel in something. Be it in sports, or any other things. Take courage, you will find it if you search for it hard enough.

Remember...NO ONE IS GOOD FOR NOTHING. NO ONE!

Powerhouse!

Powerhouse has been going on for two days and this is my first time joining. Thank God it is a 20min walk from my workplace.

For the past two days, my flesh got the better of me and I went back to sleep after the alarm went off at 5am. So I decided to fast yesterday to bind the devil and commit my body totally unto God. I woke up at 5am today looking forward to Powerhouse.

Though I pray every morning, it is totally different to be praying in the house of God for a solid 1hr. Totally fulfilling. I feel joy overwhelmed me. A good start to my day at work.

I just stepped into the office and my colleague immediately noticed a difference in me. She said I look radiant and in a good mood.

It's Powerhouse again tomorrow!

"I feel good, da da da da da da da, I feel good da da da da da...How about you?!"

8 August 2008

Today is 8 August 2008 (888). Huat ah!


August 8, 1876: Thomas Edison receives a patent for his mimeograph
August 8, 1908: The Wright brothers' first public flight.
August 8, 1947: Pakistan's National flag is approved.
August 8, 1949: Bhutan becomes independent.
August 8, 1988: Burma "8888 Uprising"
August 8, 2008: Beijing, China Olympics

*Too many events to be listed. So only listed a few interesting and relevent ones.

Share

I was watching a TV programme and learnt this.

"If you share your problems, they become half as bad. If you share your joys, they become twice as good."

在我妈的眼里，妹妹和我变成了黑心的女人

妈不知道几时从一位亲戚的嘴里听到，到英国读书，回来新加坡能赚大钱，才能掏碗饭吃。回来便告诉我们她有意思送弟弟到英国读书。我们对她说了我们的看法。

如果弟弟有本事，新加坡大学也不错。但是弟弟现在不是没有本事。他廷聪明的。只是爱玩电脑，没心读书。这样的人不值得花一大笔钱，送他到英国读书。分明是浪费！

妈听了骂我们没良心。自己有饭吃，就不管弟弟了。亲戚说我们都做工了，可以帮忙补贴弟弟英国读书的学费。一个人补贴个几万块应该没问题吧。妈越气，说的话越过分。说什么我们的钱不用来补贴弟弟的学费，就会花掉，搞不好还会拿去贴小白脸，养别的男人。原来我们在妈妈的眼里是这样的女人。

现在我开始在想，妈妈当初生我们是为了什么。是为了将来能跟孩子伸手要钱吗？还是因为要拥有把孩子养大的满足感。我想妈是属于前者吧。如果有一天我打算有孩子，我不会期望孩子以后会报答我。我希望那时的我是为了追求抚养孩子的满足感。

今天的心好酸。。。

其实笑会让人更美丽

好想对这个朋友说：“其实只要你常笑，就会很美丽了。”

我有一个朋友，她今年已经要34岁了。保养得很好，看起来像是27岁的女生。听起来好像很不错，可是她总是带着一幅苦瓜脸，好可惜哦。最近她做了lasik之后，穿着也跟着年轻化了。她寻找自己的风格，带些首饰和化妆。但是苦瓜脸还是带着。

朋友没有结婚，也没有男朋友。并不是她不美。我认为是苦瓜脸在作怪。她可能应为做事太执著于莫些细节所以让自己的压力变大。每天的心情好想有人谦她的，让周围的人都不敢接近她。没有意思想了解她的人，可能永远不会和她交朋友。她什么都做足了，只差个笑容。。。前功尽弃。

朋友，让你的嘴角弯一弯，露点牙齿吧！

2008年 半年的最后一天

再过一个半小时，2008年正式宣告过了一半。今天突然有点感慨。好像这半年里没什么成就。好像一事无成的样子。从gym一路回家，在巴士上一直在回顾。头都想到要爆了还是没想到什么成就。就只不过瘦了3kg。到云南玩了10天。年初决定要做的事情，到现在一个都没有开始。真逊哦！

我讨厌这样的自己。为什么年纪越大，就越没劲达成目标。年轻时，冲劲十足，说到做到。唯一可以安慰自己的是减肥我廷执著的。可能已经减肥了27年，已经成了我生命的一部分。

不行！不行！不行！我要开始冲刺。一定要完成今年要做的事情。明天是下半年的第一天。一定要有好的开始。

不一样的look

最近换了个新发型。也没什么变。就只是把留海剪断，让自己显得比较年轻。多数的朋友和同事都喜欢我的改变。只有少数觉得不适合我。可能看起来有点装可爱吧。不管啦。反正不剪都剪了，而且还得到好评嘞。

要改变自己的look不是那么简单的。当中有时间和金钱哦。我并没有很多时间，钱更不用说了。有那么多必须改变的地方，如果时间能够停止，钱从天上掉下来的话，那该多好啊！

人年轻时，总想把自己打扮得更成熟。现在人老了，后悔了吧！

我的年龄随着地球一起老一天。

最近不知道为什么，突然害怕自己接近30岁，人生的另一个10年的开始。20岁的10年好像才刚开始不久。这10年我到底做了些什么令自己骄傲的事呀？我过地快乐吗？有没有精彩10年呢？好害怕回顾。但是时间不能浪费。至少我还有1年多的时间来补上这10年的不足。虽然时间不多，但是至少还有时间。

我第一件做的事就是防老。从20到26岁之间，我没有护肤。脸上的黑斑已经出现了。现在眼下还有细纹。我的天啊！从去年开始我就对护肤过程带着比较认真的态度。下个月开始要开始尝试吃Amino collagen。托同事从台湾买回来。新加坡太贵了。明年会考虑做IPL美廖，把黑斑laser掉。但要看口袋是否有钱。

青春万岁！

Night Cycling 23 May 2008

5月23日
我的第一次night cycling.



kopi嫂夜间自行车之旅，出发！



kopi嫂半途被鳄鱼埋伏，支援支援！



大力士。

身分对调

从星期一到四，我和爸妈的身份对调。爸妈因为在同一间公司上班，所以一起被派去上四天的服务课程。这几天早上，都是我上班，他们上学。开课的前一天，妈妈还很紧张。好像第一天上学的小学生一样。还一直自言自语，说不知道铅笔够不够用。结果上课回来，我妹翻了翻她的作业簿才发现她一个字也没写。原来妈妈不识字，反应又慢。老师已经降到西边，她还在东边开步走。爸爸今早还问她是否要帮她做作业。妈妈却理直气壮的拒绝了。她说约好同学，今早借他们的作业草。

这一切对我而言又新鲜又熟悉。新鲜的是爸妈上学的样子我从没看过，熟悉的是这一切我都经历过。不知道他们年轻时是否也是这样的。。。

没有公共假期

天啊！为什么？为什么？幸福总是那么短暂。2008上半年的公共假期已经被用完了。从现在到9月，一个公定假日都没有。这不会是实施。我不接受！这么可能6月、7月、8月和9月都要每天上班。。。

好像离开地球哦！

锦绣2重唱

好久没有听到《锦绣2重唱》的歌了。

好歌推荐

完美的爱情

最近一直在看台湾偶像剧。一直让我觉得无聊的偶像剧，竟然能让我领悟了自己到底在找些什么。

《恶作剧之吻》 和 《恶作剧2吻》
爱情就像一壶开水被放在炉上烧开。有些人的爱情一开始就用大火烧。爱得死去活来，轰轰烈烈。但是水很快就烧开。接着就会被烧干。最后把壶底烧破。壶再也不能装水了。没用了。爱情应该慢慢的烧。一天比一天热。一天比一天更爱对方。长久的爱情，我期待着。。。

虽然世上有90%的事情他做不好，我却做得好，但是世上其他10%的事情只有他能做的。爱情不就是两个人互相扶持，一起做到世上的每一件事吗？这样的爱情才能算是100%完美的结合。

朋友，你知道自己要的是什么吗？

The First Bus No. 197

Today is the first day I decided to try going to the gym in the morning. I woke up at 5am hoping to catch the first bus. I don't know the time but I thought it should be about 5.45am.

At 5.40am, I reached the bus stop, with the noisy conversations of aunties and uncles welcoming me. Everyone was friendly with everyone. They are all there to wait for the first bus. It was a heartwarming sight.

I waited for 30min and still no sight of my bus. A kind auntie told me that my bus will arrive at 6.20am. My mum has even arrived at the bus stop for her bus to work. She is taking the same bus as I am. My mum has been taking the bus for the past 2 years without knowing that it's the first bus for the whole day.

After wasting so much time, I realise one thing. Knowledge will save me a lot of time. But then, I learn from mistake. Next time, I'll take an mrt instead.

Jason Mraz - I'm Yours

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it

I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted

I fell right through the cracks

And now I'm trying to get back

Before the cool done run out

I'll be giving it my bestest

Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention

I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me

Open up your plans and damn you're free

Look into your heart and you'll find love love love

Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me

I like peaceful melodys

It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love

So I won't hesitate no more, no more It cannot wait I'm sure

There's no need to complicate Our time is short

This is our fate, I'm yoursI've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror

And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer

But my breath fogged up the glass

And so I drew a new face and laughed

I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason

To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons

It's what we aim to do

Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more It cannot wait I'm sure

There's no need to complicate Our time is short

This is our fate, I'm yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me

Open up your plans and damn you're free

Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love

Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me

I like one big family (2nd time: I like happy family)

It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love love love

I won't hesitate no more

Oh no more no more no more

It's your God-forsaken right to be loved, I'm sure

There's no need to complicate

Our time is short

This is our fate, I'm yours

No I won't hesitate no more, no more

This cannot wait I'm sure

There's no need to complicate Our time is short

This is our fate, I'm yours, I'm yours

Report From BBC - Got Your IMEI Number Yet?

Help for lost and stolen phones

Dial *#06# to find out your phone's ID numberMobile phone owners are being urged to register their phones with a national database of handset ID numbers
Backed by the police the Mobile Equipment National Database is intended to get phones back to phone owners if their handset is lost or stolen.
The database has been created as crime statistics show that more than 50% of street crime involves a mobile phone.
And a survey reveals that more than half of all mobile phone users have lost a phone in the last three years.
Lost and found
Although administered by a private firm the Mend database has the backing of police forces in the UK.
Adam Lindsay, crime prevention officer with the National Mobile Phone Crime Unit, said that the scheme was currently being promoted to those living in London.
About 80% of British adults own or regularly use a mobile phone according to figures gathered by the Office of National Statistics. Ownership figures are even higher for those aged between 15 and 34.
Mr Lindsay said that currently more than 10,000 phones are lost or stolen every month. Transport for London, which oversees the capital's travel infrastructure, currently finds more than 600 phones per month on its buses, trains and tubes.

Top of the line phones are attractive to many thieves"Previously we've asked people to use a UV pen to write their post code on their phone," said Mr Lindsay.
But, he added, this was becoming less effective because thieves were using their own UV pens to scribble over any post code they found written on a handset.
Those signing up to use the free database should register the IMEI or equipment number of their handset, said Mr Lindsay.
Most phones will show this IMEI number if users punch in *#06#.
Changing the IMEI number was much more difficult said Mr Lindsay and should mean that people do get their registered phones returned to them if they are recovered or found.
Mr Lindsay said the subsidies that phone operators apply to handsets means that legitimate users get them cheap but they represent an object of high value to thieves.
Often, said Mr Lindsay, drug dealers will accept a phone instead of cash as payment.
Statistics show that 11% of all crime involves a mobile phone, said Mr Lindsay.
Access to the database was limited to the police, said Mr Lindsay. Organisations, such as Transport for London, that want to return lost phones to owners will have to apply via e-mail.
Figures gathered by replacement phone firm Retrofone show that a lot of people regularly lose their handset.
A survey conducted by Retrofone found that almost 52% of those questioned have lost their phone in the last three years.
One person questioned was unlucky enough to drop their handset into the toilet at the Glastonbury Festival.
More than a quarter, 26%, of those who responded said they had lost two or more phones in the same period.
Olly Tagg, founder of Retrofone, said he started up the service as many people did not want to pay lots of money to replace the expensive handset they had just lost.
Mr Tagg used to buy and sell old phones on eBay but has now set up a dedicated firm selling old, reconditioned handsets to people who want a replacement.

Mobile Phone Lost!

On Saturday, 12 April, 2.15pm was the last time I saw my mobile phone. I was careless enough to leave my Sony Ericssion K800i on the treadmill and rush for my gym session. 45min later, I realise my phone was not with me and my search for it was futile. The reception did not receive any lost and found mobile phone. Though I cried for my loss, I was still hopeful that it will come back to me by God's Grace.

Till today, no news of my phone. But I have a revelation on why I was feeling so sad when my phone was lost. Retrieving the numbers was not a problem for me with the help of msn and friends. The songs can be downloaded again. I was not able to come to terms with the loss of the photos left inside. The saved messages that were precious to me. Unknowingly, I have invested my feelings into my mobile phone and grown attached to it emotionally.

I learnt my lesson. The next time I own a new phone, I will not do the same thing again. The phone shall function as it is supposed to be. The make calls, take calls, send & receive sms. I will still take pictures but I will download into the computer all the time.

Honey & Clover

Hurray! is here as drama series.

I finished anime almost a year ago. I was deeply touched by the sincerity of the show. It did not promise a fairytale kind of love but a truely realistic one. It's a story about 5 university students and their triangle loves. Through the eyes of Takemoto, it tells of a about unwavering but unreciprocrated love.

The story of the drama has changed slightly but nonetheless, the main essence is still intact. I also realise that Taiwan has also remake this anime. Not sure if I'm going to watch it. But will definately find the manga to read.

Oh...can't wait to start on episode 5 tonight.

Read more...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honey_and_Clover

This is episode 13 of the anime. The girl Yamada has been in love with her friend Mayama for a long time. However, Mayama is in love with an older woman. She's talking about her unreciprocrated love.

怀念以前的排挡

最近不知道为什么，对现在的排挡有所怀疑。咳。。。不应该说最近，其实从我进来开始她对我就不是很友善。当年的我什么都不会，但她给我的感觉是“为什么你那么笨，我很忙的。不要来问我啦。”渐渐的日子久了，我们便可以聊闲话。但是始终没有我以前的排挡来得亲切。好想Ivy。。。

可能是我疑心病太重。但是我觉得她缺乏安全感。有很多事老板告诉她了，她却没有和我分享。到头来让我觉得自己好想傻瓜，什么都不懂。有好几次，老板告诉我一些资料，本好意和她分享，但她却骄傲的说：“我早就知道了。”

有时，她还会抢我的工作来表现自己。她乘我不在时要求老板拿我的project来做。老板答应了。因为是淡季，所以没了那份project我也没事做了。我便向她要求拿她的一份project来做。她的回答是：你真的要做？我有我的standard的嘞。不如project你做，可是你做的每一件事都响我商量，让我做主好吗？”最后还是没做成。她跟老板要求让我帮她做她的project里的一小部分。

其实要挑剔是没完没了的。我欣赏她对工作的热诚，但她的缺乏安全感和待人处世，咳！希望我是疑心病太重。希望她真的没有恶意的。如果真是我想象的那就交给上帝帮我收拾吧。

My Nightmare...

These few days, I've been a listening ear to a couple of my friends marriage woes. They are not sure if they want to get married. Then I have my family members are pestering me to find a boyfriend and get married soon.

This topic slowly grew on me and I had my nightmare last night...

I am dressed in my shapeless Chinese "kua", waiting for the Chinese dinner to start. Everything was happening too fast. I don't know what to do, just sitting there waiting for something big to happen. Then one most important question came into my mind. Who's my husband-to-be? I tried to guess. A couple of male friends name came into my mind and those are the ones whom I can't imagine myself getting married to. Yuck! I only saw my in-laws-to-be. I felt like the marriage was an obligation and had no wish to end it. What on earth was I thinking!???

In the end, I stood up with an excuse to go to the washroom. My "husband" never appeared in time before I woke up to go to the washroom. Drank too much soup the night before...

你幸福吗？

不管過了多久，我們的天空，始終是相連著的吧？因為那是我們手牽手，一起愛過的證明……

你幸福嗎？現在的我，很幸福喔。因為我知道，無論什麼時候，你都會在我身邊，永遠守護著我……

《恋空》Koizora [Sky of Love]

I dream of...

I dream of visiting the wonders created by God.

Aiming my camera at them and bring people to my thoughts.

I dream of having an interesting job blessed by Him.

With good pay, good benefits, like cake with icing and cream.

I dream of "happily ever after"of fairytales.

In search of true love, across the vast ocean I sail.

I dream of impacting the world.

But the process of it makes me curls.

How true can my dreams be?

When I'm still just the same old me.

The Rich Are Misers

After joining my current company, one of the things I realised is that the generosity of a person is not directly proportionate to the person's wealth and status.

For the past one year, one of our super rich clients have been calling us almost every 3 months to ask if we have new products suitable for his schooling kids and that it will be great if we can send one of each product to his office. One of each product is only $14.90!

What is $14.90 compared to his yatches, bungalows, cars & holidays? Reminds me of the people who once drove their Mercs to collect free used textbooks meant for the needy.

Dear all, just a gentle reminder,

MISERY KILLS

Shangri-la's highlight

Snow ball fight with the Shangri-la village kids.

Jade Dragon Mountain - Lijiang, Yunnan

This is the far view of Jade Dragon Mountain...The snow on the mountain top is there all year round. Majestic!

苍山view from my hotel room (Dali, Yunnan)

This is the view of Cangshan from my hotel room in Dali. The most memorable part of Dali is the tour guide. She can't pronounce "g" & "h". So we remember her by the name of "Cansan".

World Heritage - Stone Forest

This is World Heritage, also one of the 7 wonders of the world, Stone Forest.

Caused by millions of years of erosion. Bring along your brain when you visit, caused good imagination is necessary...

难看的羽绒衣。。。

我本来是买红色的，妹妹的是粉红色的。后来发现红的太小了。。。最后我穿粉红的。





虽然难看，它还是把我抱得暖暖的。-3华摄氏度都没问题哦！

昆明，云南。。。

2月16日凌晨两点的飞机飞往昆明，云南。过了四小时，六点抵达目的地。昆明的天气是7华摄氏度。我们全家身上只有一件衬衫和外套。导游，小段对我们说的第一句话是：“请把保暖的衣服穿上，今天的天气特别冷”我的天啊！我和妹妹身上穿的衣服只能乃17华摄氏度。小段显出哭笑不得的脸。她心里一定是在笑我们这群不知死活的新加坡人。哈哈哈！

我们这一团只有我们一家五口。嘿嘿嘿！我们的private tour。终于在早上11点我和妹妹买了S$20的羽绒衣。难看的羽绒衣，但因为太冷了，顾不了好不好看了。

第一天太累了。逛到下午5点才到酒店。

接下来的日子，只会越来越冷。。。

照片：我们下飞机的第一份云南料理 - 米线。 是早上7点喔！

Ah Meng Rest In Peace...

Ah Meng, female, aged 48, Sumatran orangutan, icon of Singapore Zoo

Our beloved Ah Meng passed away peacefully on 8 Feb 2008, 11.20am. Today, she is laid to rest in the Zoo in Garden with a View, overlooking the best scenery in the Zoo. A perfect final resting place.

I reached the Zoo at 8.50am. Soon the orangutan keepers came in the buggy with Ah Meng in the white coffin. Her coffin is decorated with leaves, ferns and flowers, the natural style. Her familiar keepers were her pall bearers. The staff and ex-staff lined up to pay their last respect to the grand dame. I was red-eyed from the sobbing earlier.

Finally it was my turn to see her one last time. I reached out to touch her hand. She's cold from the freezer. Ah Meng looked so peaceful. She seems to be sleeping and dreaming about something sweet. Sam, her keeper for 37 years said, "Maggie, Ah Meng is dead." Sam was stating the obvious, probably to try sink in the truth that Ah Meng is truely gone. I reached out to Sam's hand to comfort him. I only managed, "Take care, Sam." and I turned into a crybaby all over again.

Memories of Ah Meng began to flood my mind. I see the throngs of people coming to pay their respect to Ah Meng, some holding flowers, some holding back their tears. She is indeed loved. I'm sure if she understood, she would be pleased and proud of herself.

Fanny made a speech. Finally I see a softer side of her. Fanny was obviously controlling her tears when she delivered the speech. Then Sam too. Sam was brave. He fought back his tears throughout his speech only breaking down at his last words, "Ah Meng, goodbye." No one else wanted to make a speech as those who knew her well are afraid that they might break down at the mere mention of her name, me included. A reporter had want to interview me but I refused. Call me selfish, but my memories of Ah Meng belongs to me and only me. No one can ever understand the Ah Meng in my memories just like I cannot experience Ah Meng like Sam has. Each of our own memories are unique to ourselves.

It was finally the time to cover the coffin. Ah Meng's beloved keepers rounded the coffin, saying their final goodbyes. One of the keepers hugged Ah Meng and cried. His colleagues had to support him. Sam was their standing strong as their chief. Ah Meng's grave was laid with flowers. Friends of Ah Meng began to lay their flowers on her coffin and bid farewell to her.

Ah Meng has indeed led a full life. She has been a successful mother, grandmother and a career woman. She has lent her name and face to help the tourism of Singapore. She has left a mark in history of Singapore tourism industry.

Today we are not to grieve for our loss of such a wonderful companion, but to celebrate her full life. She has great accomplishments and led a fulfuilling life. Although it's farewell, she will live as fresh memory in the hearts of those who love her.

Farewell Ah Meng, thank you for the wonderful memories that you have given me...

My Tears For Ah Meng

Ah Meng has passed away in the morning of the second day of Chinese New Year. I did not check my handphone until this morning after I read about her death in the newspapers. My ex-colleagues have informed me via sms yesterday.

I was crying my heart when I learnt about the news. Memories of Ah Meng flooded my mind. I still remember the times I spent with her.

Sometimes in the morning, when I have sometime, I will wander to Ah Meng's usual walking route to see her. Ah Meng, sometimes being lazy will hold my hand for support. I could almost still feel her hand in mine, or rather my hand in hers. Her hand is so big and so warm.

On birthdays and special occasions, I will get permission to take pictures with Ah Meng. I always remember what a prima donna she was. She will look into the camera for one picture and then look away. We had to spend sometime coaxing her to turn towards the camera for another picture.

On my last day at work, I went to feed Ah Meng her breakfast. Porridge with minced chicken. Ah Meng decided not eat the chicken and rolled all the minced chicken into a ball and tried to spit it out. Her keeper, Sam stared at her and called her name, Ah Meng swallowed the meat.

What a darling she is. I will miss her dearly. Tomorrow, I will be attending her memorial service and paying my last respects to her.

I think there's no end to my crying again...

A Teary Rat Year

On the first day of Chinese New Year, right after the saga in the morning, all went well until when we went to visit my maternal grandmother's place.

My maternal grandfather is now in ICU, his life withering away. The cancer is slowly eating his life away.

I sat down with all his daughters and they started talking about grandfather. My youngest auntie urged her sisters to see their father as much as possible and say things that need to be said. She shared with us what she has said to her beloved father.

She said, "Dad, thank you for being our father. We have never regretted being your children. You are the best father a child could ask for. Don't worry about us. We love you." At that, everyone sitted on the table sobbed. We have each buried ourselves in the wonderful memories of my grandfather.

Finally we left the table red-eyed.

My First Tears For Rat Year

On Thursday morning, the first day of Rat Year, I shed my first tears.

My 3rd uncle (my father's younger brother) came to visit us. I've not seen him for a long time. As slightly "lunatic" as usual. His other brothers have forsaken him and he sought comfort from my father. My 3rd uncle was born with a defect in his brain. His IQ is lower than average but he is smart enough to keep himself alive.

Then 3rd uncle said something wrong that infuriated my father. Shouts between them puctuated the morning silence. Father eventually chased 3rd uncle out of the house. 3rd uncle said that he no longer has a family and left with face wet with tears. My heart teared for him, so did my eyes.

All thanks to my grandmother's bad teachings did all his sons and daughter turn out to hate each other. There is no love between the siblings and the children have no love for their mother. This confirms why I have disliked my grandmother ever since I understood things around me.

恭喜发财,财源滚滚来!

咚咚咚呛,
咚咚咚呛
咚咚咚呛
咚呛
咚呛。
祝朋友们鼠年行大运！
昨晚的团圆饭是我一个人准备的。好累哦！虽然累，我和妹同往年一样到牛车水和人群倒数。人山人海。长得高的人占优势，空气比较新鲜。哈哈哈！
初一了。不想去拜年。亲戚快要开始问，“有男朋友了没？”我的回答总是“现在以事业为重”。今年有一点不好意思拿红包。我看再过两年就该避年了。

放了我吧。。。

This is what I called bad service.

Recently, my dad booked a package tour for the whole agency and there were some discrepencies with regards to the itinerary. As a consumer, I have to exercise my right to find out what exactly happened. So I emailed the tour agency...bad treatment was all I got.

I wrote:

....

Frankly, we feel cheated after comparing the itineraries. I would like to get a reasonable explanation for the omission of Stone Forest and other places stated above from the tour package and why if we eventually get to go to Stone Forest, we have to pay admission fee. I hope XXX Holiday can honour your mission to provide professional, responsible and honest services to your customers.

Thank you for your time and hope to hear from you soon.


Here's "Bad Service' reply:

It is a pity that your Dad was not able to understand our package very well, although explanations had been repeated to him many times.

We suggest you and your dad may come to our office one more time, and let us explain it to him one more time together with you, that will help yours to understand better.
What about this Saturday? Obviously, you are not cheated ,there is no such things, we only need you people keep clear in mind. Lucky, the tour has not started yet, if you still have lot of questions after our explanation, you may withdraw the tour according to our terms & conditions, maybe this is the best solution.

Thanks

William

I replied:

Hi William

Thank you for your prompt reply. I will be glad to go down to your office to get an explanation. Unfortunately, my father will not be free to be there with me. Please advise on the best time for me to go down to your office.

I would also like to feedback on the email that you have replied me. I, as a customer who is just trying to find out the details, does not deserve to be labelled as "you people". And also, I did not say I was cheated, I was saying I FEEL cheated.

I believe you have your own frustration. From the customer service point of view, what you have replied will only chase customers away instead of keeping them.

I look forward to meeting you on Saturday.

Thank you.

That "unrepentent-bad service" replied:

I fully understand what you are trying to say, no point to talk about the mails word by word , let us meet and talk about your tour on Saturday. Our office hours is from 1030 –1830.

Have a nice day!

William


NOT A WORD OF APOLOGY! Bad service...bad service. I had only wanted an explanation. Not only did I not get what I wanted, I got a customer service-idiot serving me!

The Pressure of Being the Eldest

I am the eldest in my family. I have a sister, 4 years younger than me, and a brother, 8 years younger than me.

Since primary school, I was given an important task to be a role model to my siblings. Initially, I thought that just being myself would be a good enough. However I soon realise it was not so.

At home, I was always the one to be taking over the wok from my mother when she was busy. I was the one who irons all the clothes and the one responsible for all siblings quarrel and anything that went wrong. I have to behave myself or else my siblings will always compare, "Why can big sister do this and why can't I?". When I tried to compare, my parents' answers were always, "Because they are younger than you. You have to set an example." I have lose my previlage to make mistakes.

In school, as all three of us went to the same primary and secondary schools, I have the pressure to do well. I was to set an example to my siblings. Teachers always says, "Your big sister is such a hardworking girl. You must learn from her." I was taught to believe that if I don't do well, my siblings might not too. I was glad I pulled through. I managed to be ahead of them in terms of studies.

My sister and I have reached adulthood and joined the work force. She found a good paying job in a good company. I was giving myself pressure to climb the social ladder faster than her, earn more than her and etc.

I am telling myself to quit giving myself this kind of pressure. But I guess it's a hard-to-quit old habit.

How does the younger ones feel?

2008 Resolutions

This year, I resolute to do the following things. I am announcing to all my friends who read my blog. Please constantly remind me of my resolutions.

1. Lose 10kg by the end of the year. (Today shall be my last day eating after 8pm)
2. Start reading the bible. (I will do that tomorrow.)
3. Finish my bible study. (At least two more books.)
4. Buy an underwater house for my Canon Powershot.
5. Go scuba diving at least once in 2008.
6. Save enough money to backpack in France for two weeks.
7. Finish whatever I resolute to do (all of the above)

My 2008 Countdown...

This year's countdown was a little different from my past years. I had done countdown in Orchard, in a friend's place and of course in dreamland. But this was the first time I ushered in 2008 with my friends from Singapore, Korea and France, via webcam.

I had fun chatting with my friend, Benoit from France. He's my cousin-in-law's buddy. I was getting to enjoy having a webcam. I could do a toast on line with so many people in Loire Valley. I was amazed by how advance technology can be. With Benoit were his other friends, David, Alexandre, Fabrice, Jerome and many many more.

I had wished that I spent my last moment of 2007 with God. But in the end, I was busy on MSN...