世界上最远的距离。

昨天很巧的，在聚会，ESY就坐在我的后面。但是我们只说了一句话。我问他“你要不要吃糖”。ESY说：“Ok, thanks.”。过后聚会开始，就算有机会跟身边的人说话，他的对象从来都不是我。

我跟他的距离很近。我听得到他的笑声，也听得到他在唱歌和祷告。但是我却觉得我离他很远。比我跟舞台的牧师的距离更遥远。心中有点冷。

聚会后，很巧的，我跟ESY一起在吃饭，我们的身边都坐着十几个朋友。他就坐在我的对面。先在几乎能听到他的呼吸。但是他的目光总是在其他人的身边。坐在桌子尾端的朋友都能跟他聊天，我们只有对着对方微笑。看着他和其他朋友有说有笑，有点羡慕。

那顿午餐，让我深深的体会到什么是“世界上最远的距离就是我在你身边，你却不知道我喜欢你。”

蟑螂被打死了

我连仗都还没打，就已经可以举白旗了。

刚才朋友告诉我，牙医有打算出国深造。所以目前没有交女朋友的念头。嘿。。。我放弃了。看吧，朋友们，我可不是打不死的蟑螂。

各位，请不要给我那种“你还有机会”或“等他回来”的念头了。

Get Real!

Recently, a colleague of mine, LSM started becoming a nusiance to my colleagues and I. His designation says "graphic designer". However he does not work like one, though his attitude screams one.

In entertainment industry, it is probably easier to strike lottery than not get any last minute and extremely urgent jobs. He should know since he has been in this industry longer than I am. He's being ridiculous to demand all jobs to be given to him 3 days in advance.

His "designer attitude" is unbearable. Well if he has the creativity and the talent, by all means throw his weight around. I do not care about his attitude as long as I get my job done. But with LSM, it's job not done properly + "designer attitude".

Today, I just commented on an artwork and requested he do minor changes. He came back with an email explaining why I should appreciate his artwork.

1. He spent a long time conceptualising it.

2. He feels that his is simple. And simple is good.

Eventually, he said he will make the changes. So this is what I want to read. Waste my time reading his reasons.

Get real! Who cares how long you have worked on it. If the client (me) is not happy, you ain't getting any dough. It's the real world. You can work on something for 3 years for all I care, if eventually it's not what the client wants, change!

He kept thinking that everyone is against him. But I think he should reflect on himself when all colleagues liasing with him finds the same problem with him. Even our working partners are facing the same problem. Check your metre ruler, try measuring yourself before complaining that other people's metre ruler is not accurate.

I wonder with all these frustrations, why am I not getting any slimmer. Sigh...

朋友们谢了！

朋友们，谢了。但是PSN说我坚持不渝也好，叫我毅力不到也好，叫我意志坚强也可以，不需要把我比喻成蟑螂吧。还是打不死的蟑螂嘞。哈哈哈！客位，我没事了。其实我现在比较concern的是我的training to become a cell group leader。有点stress。

最近生病了。医生给了我3种药。我说这3种药有点矛盾。2种药吃了会cause drowsiness。第三种吃了cannot sleep or lie down for the first 2 hours。我真的很能dong，不要躺下或睡觉。但是很辛苦。这些药好像在考验我的意志力噎。还有两天要就吃完了。希望药到病除，不需再吃。。。

有一点失望。。。但是没事！

从现在开始“他”就简称“ESY”。

本来还很期待十月的来临。因为我能和ESY在一个activity里互动1.5个月。咳。。。昨天朋友告诉我不可能了。ESY 会出国，所以他不会出席那个activity。害我白高兴一场。先在唯一能多了解他的机会都没了。朋友说可能不是时候，因为 ESY 先在的 focus 可能不是在感情上。他先在可能 focus 是在 how to be a good servant of the Lord。我了解也接受了。

可能上帝觉得还不是时候吧。可能时机不对。如果先在开始，可能也不会有结果。我看着办吧。已经不想再多费神，执著于早已注定的事情。经历过那种执著的痛苦，怕了。先在我会 get on with life。怎么说，我还有一群好朋友陪我晚上一起上webcam一起笑，一起聊天。

我知道，TCC一定在想：“这个CSK很Ah Q 嘞”

Why must I be dragged into this battle?

I've always considered myself as a neutral party when it comes to office politics. I want to be sitting on the fence.

I am happy that I am getting a bigger portfolio at work. However, that slice of the pie is taken from my boss' plate. Being a possessive person, she will definately be not happy about it. Anyway, my boss has a way of keeping her slice of pie in her own plate. She has done it twice, she can do it the 3rd time.

I'll just pray hard that God will show me the way avoid fighting and still win.

I'm innocent...

是不是就是他。。。

认识他有两年了吧。每次见面只是打招呼而已，并没多说什么。朋友曾经跟我说过我们两个站在一起时，看起来很配。但是我也没有想太多，就让这个remark过去了。

两年后，有一天，因为莫种原因，我们坐在出现在同一个聚会里。我不知不觉成了他的助手。那是突然脑子里有一个念头，这个男人挺不错的。他lead我做事的时候，我感觉很好。可能这辈子lead人太多了。被lead的感觉很好。我越想越多，还想到嫁给这样的男人应该会很幸福吧。哈哈！真的是想太多。刚好我的朋友是他的mentor，所以就问朋友他是怎样的人。朋友说他是一个passive的人，如果我不主动，是得不到结果的。所以我还是和从前一样，不能享受被追求的感觉。又是我追别人。咳。。。曾经这位朋友有建议我考虑他，但是我当时拒绝了。对，我 take back my words。

他是个很斯文，很踏实的人。很meek也很善良。做事很认真。最重要的是，他爱上帝。但是我不知道喜欢他哪一点。但是我认识这种喜欢的感觉。很踏实，很真。不像以前那些relationships那么的不切实际的感觉。我会记得这种喜欢的感觉。就算将来我的真命天子不是他，我也会依这种感觉为表准。

祝我好运！

p.s.如果想知道他长什么样子，我的facebook有他。。。嘿嘿嘿

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are very passionate and quite temperamental. While you can be moody, you always crave comfort. You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds. You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself. Your near future is a lot like the present, and as far as you're concerned, that's a very good thing. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

You Are Pasta Puttanesca

Compared to most people, you have a sexy and wild personality. So it fits that you're like a pasta popularized by street walkers! You like food with interesting, contrasting, and spicy flavors. You live an exciting life - and you wouldn't ever go for anything bland.

What Pasta Dish Are You?

You See the World Through Yellow Colored Glasses

You live your life with optimism. You remain happy through the bad times, and your outlook remains bright. You judge all interactions through the lens of hope. You try to see the best in people, and you give them the benefit of the doubt. You face challenges with a spirit of adventure. Things are what they are, so you might as well make the best of them. You see love as the utmost expression of personal joy. You tend to be attracted to lively, friendly people. At your worst, you are a bit petty and jealous. You want to be everyone's shining star. You are happiest when you're daydreaming or thinking up fresh ideas.

What Color Glasses Do You See the World Through?

我还是哭了。

臭TCC，你好样的。一个sms让我破功。我哭了啦。还以为不去送机应该没事了。最后一个sms就让我哭了。好吧，笑吧，笑到肚子痛，活该。

自己一个人住还习惯吗？公寓还合“胃口”吗？你保重啦。