温暖的拥抱。。。我终于哭了

挨了24小时，我的眼泪终于滑下脸颊。过去的24小时，我一直强颜欢笑。昨晚已经想哭了，心一阵阵的痛。幸亏今天下午有一大把工作让我麻醉自己。

忙完后，我的心情跌到了谷底。好痛，好痛。盼望有人能安慰我。

放工后，我干着去见他。我想见到他，心情会好一点。在歌声中，我看见他了。他张开双手，把我抱进怀里，对我说，“我一直都在你身边。只是你没留意。”我哭了。憋了好久的眼泪终于流下来了。他说，“你的每滴眼泪都在我的心烙了印。就算没人知道你心里在想什么，我知道。只要你不松手，我会一直牵着你。”他就那么的温柔，把我捧在手心。

好久没哭得那么多了。应该有45分钟吧。心情好多了。我重新相信我是被爱的。。。

庆幸一直有他在我身边。

突然好想念

今天和一位小我两岁的男生聊天。他是个老实人。当我们谈到为什么女生都爱坏男人时，我突然想起我胎死腹中的感情。突然想念有人牵着我的手，想念有人能把我涌入怀抱。九月为这一切画上句号。那种被保护的感觉记忆犹新。不知何时能再找回那种感觉。

我在跑步机边跑边听歌。悲伤的旋律让我的眼眶又湿了。心有点酸。眼泪最终没有留下来，心也慢慢地振作起来。过去已成事实，我只能坦然面对。伤可能还没痊愈，但是我还是会撑下去。我并非一无所有，我还有一群朋友为我加油打气。

Don't Worry

Do you worry alot? I used to until someone told me that my worries are unnecessary. Why? Read further...
Some of your worries:
1) Will never happen
2) Have not yet happen
3) Have already happened and instead of worrying, think of a solution

So you are covered. No worries!

我以为我很快乐。。。

我以为我很快乐。没想到我这么容易因为悲伤的音乐而流泪。心里突然涌出悲伤，心好痛。眼前的一切被眼泪遮住了。觉得好寂寞。感觉好像是独子站在悬崖面对着未知数的将来。心寒。

I need some romance...

This weekend was hectic. I was trying to finish 17 episodes of The 1st Coffee Prince Shop. The end result was not a triumph one. Instead I began to lament the lack of romance in my life. I began to question myself if such romance exist in the real world or just limited to the goggle box (in my case, the computer monitor).

The words in the dramas are so romantically crafted. The people so good-looking (most of the time). The ugly duckling saved from the pit of poverty and placed on the alter of wealth by a handsome prince. Argh...I want that too...Maybe I should just pray to God with a checklist on the kind of man I want...but there are so many to choose from...

Everything was perfect in the dramas. Their eyes are free from "eye shit" in the morning. They cry oh... so prettily. Love seems to conquer everything.

I am now drunk in the alcohol of love and romance.....quick, give me a glass of plain water and a............man.

To Envy Jay Chou Or Not

Recently got a chance to help out in the promotional tour for Jay Chou's movie, Secret. Full of expectation about the experience.

First stop, the press conference. The duo was late. The press was waiting and everyone was getting impatient. Well....they are not to blame. They share one hairstylist. Finally when they appear, I was looking out for a tall and handsome Jay Chou...Trying to spot him in the entourage and finally I did spot a rather short and thin Jay. I was wearing my heels and I am already slightly taller than him. But no doubt, he is quite cute.

After the press conference, it was the gala premier. Jay was not feeling very well. The whole group was held in the holding area. A group of fans with their cameras aiming at the entrance, were standing outside waiting for him to come out.

It reminds me of a scene from the zoo. Visitors standing with their cameras waiting for the animal to appear before them. Then it's photo taking time. I pray I will not be standing next to Jay. I know how much bigger I am next to him. Prayer not answered. He smiled a little at me and looked at the camera. The duo just stood on the spot and the people beside them changed and cameras click away. Reminds me of another scene. Orangutans in the zoo also sat where they are and the people beside them change and cameras click away.

Then I began to wonder, is being a famous artiste upgrading or downgrading. Normal people are not obliged to take pictures with just anyone. The artistes can't say no. This is sad...just like the animals in the zoo, they have lost their freedom but gained survival.

Picking Up...

It's been a long time since I updated my blog. I knew this (stop blogging) would happen. All due to my laziness and busyness.

Finally got a chance to update my blog and let my friends know what I am up to these days.

All along, I knew that I wasn't working in the most effective business but never was I so discouraged by the things that happened these few weeks. I am beginning to see some serious problem that this company has.

1. A Director Who Likes To Backstab (A Wolf In Sheep Skin)
Let me elaborate... Recently, I encounter a small technical problem and asked him (the director, also the youngest brother of the big boss) for help. He actually say he don't know how to operate the machine. Eventually I got my supplier to teach me how to operate the machine. Actually he knows how to operate the machine. Just that he does not want to teach me. 3hrs after I used the machine, he offered to do another thing for me, using that machine. Where got so stupid??

2. A Mother & Daughter Who Don't Communicate
This is a classic. Both the mother and daughter are directors (also the younger sister and niece of the big boss) in my company. I have to take orders from either of them, both of them?....argh....I'm confused myself... well... the daughter said that if she's not around and I needed an answer immediately, I should ask her mother. Then I got scolding for doing so because her mother's decision was not her decision. She said, "She (the mother) don't know anything, so don't ask her." Fine, I thought. I decided to just take orders from her (the daughter). Guess what? The mother scolded me for making the decision approved by her daughter saying, "Next time ask me, she (the daughter) don't know anything. She very blur." Where did the love between mother and daughter went?

3. A Lazy Woman Who Still Wants Authority
Recently, I got scolded again. The daughter, whom in my eyes is a lazy woman who wants to control everything, doesn't see her own mistake. She wanted a report on the work progress and so I gave it to her every week. I would suppose she will read it. Then one day she scolded me for doing the wrong thing. I highlighted to her that I have mentioned it in my report and she did not say it was wrong. Guess what again? She said, "The report is just a guideline. It does not mean anything!" So what's with the report? For me to kill time????!!!! She obviously don't read!

4. Still The Lazy Woman
That same lazy woman on the pretext of furthering her studies decided to resign. But she hung on to her directorship and have me reporting to her. I was told that she's just a consultant now. I guess that's just her excuse for coming in for 4hrs a week and still have lots of authority.

5. The Same Lazy Woman Who Doubles As A Backstabber
When a management employee resigns, she will send a backstabbing email to his/her business partners to ask them to stop contacting him/her. Doesn't she realise that she's been labelled 'The Backstabber", "The Evil One" in the industry? Retribution!

6. A Fine Line Between Being Exploited And Multi-tasking.
My big boss' daughter is setting up her own business. I have to help her make namecards! This is crazy. My GM (not part of the family, thank God!) said, "it's good to learn more." Does it mean that I have to thank them for exploiting me???

Sigh....but why am I still here? I know everywhere there will be people like that. But for sure, anywhere is high chance better than here.