MY JOURNEY 我的旅程

NEW BLOG ADDRESS!

2011-02-10T16:07:00.000+08:00

http://thethirtysomething.blogspot.com/

糟糕。

2010-12-28T17:16:00.000+08:00

单身女人会不会随着年龄的增长而变得怪怪的？

最近自己内心没表达出来的坏脾气让自己觉得自己怪怪的。有时，因为某人说的一些话，让我觉得那个人在怀疑我的办事能力而对他产生一点敌意。虽然心里是这么想，脸上依然微笑地接受了他的批评。其实他是针对事，没有错。但是我就是不由自主地这样想。

以前如果有自以为是的人批评我对莫件事的处理方式，我会为自己辩护。有时还会莫名其妙的在那个人的背后大声讽刺那个人。让心理平衡一点。但往往到最后有点小后悔。现在，我已经不会那样了。只是笑着，点头，3个字‘知道了’接纳了那个人的意见。但是心里有点不平衡。这是成熟的表现吗？是‘不跟你一半见识’的最好方法吗？难怪会变得怪怪的。闷太久了啦。尤其单身。除了工作，就没有什么好寄托的。

天啊！糟糕。

My Life Changing Experience

2010-11-05T17:05:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was my life changing experience. I finally did lasik. I did my test on 3 Nov. Dr Lee Shao Bing says my corneas are relatively thin so I can only do Intralase lasik (bladeless) and only do it once, no chance for enhansment.

My surgery was scheduled on 4 Nov 2.30pm. I read the consent form and proceeded to do the intralase method to remove my cornea. There's a slight pressure on the eyes then everything went blur. It is scary to have my vision blur.

Then I waited to be guided to the laser room where the actual lasik will be done.

Finally my turn. Dr Lee did my left eye first. I focused on the green light then it turned red. All this while, there is a tape and metal clip that prevented my eye from closing. Then I could feel him removing my cornea and then I couldn't see at all. Then the lasik begin. I could smell something burning for about 15 sec. Then Dr Lee put back my cornea and I could see again. He used something to brush my cornea to make sure it "sticks" smoothly with no bubbles. My eye could not feel anything due to the numbing liquid they put in it. Then to the right eye.

I was sent home with my sunglasses on. My eyes felt numb but I could see quite well with vision a little hazy. Kaiyi and her boyfriend were kind to pick me up and send me home. In the car, I could feel some sensation in both my eyes. I was told to sleep for at least an hour and take sleeping pills if needed.

I thought I didn't need the sleeping pill. I was awaken by the irritation in my eyes. I could not open my eyes and I kept tearing. I continue to keep my eyes closed and waited for an hour to pass.

Finally I could wake up and put in my eye drops. I quickly had dinner with my eyes half opened and popped two sleeping pills.

This morning, I wake up pain free. Vision still a little hazy. Went for check up. All's well. I put my eye drops religiously. Perfect eye sight.

我的小小心愿。。。

2010-10-15T10:16:00.001+08:00

如果可以，我希望能玩遍整个日本。如果有钱，有时间的话。。。

你是哪种药？

2010-09-28T12:44:00.004+08:00

最近做了一个搞笑的性测试。《你是哪种药？》

我是麻醉药。你呢？

http://www.fancy.meeya.cc

我看到的未来是一个人的世界。。。

2010-07-07T12:17:00.002+08:00

有时会想想自己的未来和打算。每次都会想到事业。感觉好像我的未来容不下另外一个人。自己不知道要找的人是怎样的。最好是能配合自己的进度相处。有点小自私。

雪糕咸咸的（2）

2010-04-07T22:46:00.002+08:00

On Monday, our department had a lunch meeting with our account person, CW from MediaCorp.

A brief summary of our department.

WB: General manager

SY: Production controller

JL: Marketing executive and the one who dislike me and calls me a bitch

We went to a Japanese restaurant and ordered our food and some food to share. JL started picking out the bean sprouts and the meat. CW was surprised and asked if JL is a vegetarian. JL says she dislike vegetables too. CW then started joking, and said “Then 你是什么？肉也不吃，菜也不吃。你不算是vegetarian。。。”Then SY and WB started joining in and comment on her not eating so many things and don't know how to label her. I thought I'll join in the jokes and say “啊我知道啦。做仙咯！”CW and SY 大笑。JL沉默吃她的午餐。Then WB说，“Maggie，你为什么要踩人？”我一头雾水但也没多想。

从那顿午餐开始，只要我开玩笑WB就会说我很喜欢‘踩’人。

今天on the way去meeting, JL 不在。WB, SY 和我开始聊天。WB又说我很爱‘踩’人。我受不了了，就问他：“我踩到谁了？”WB说：“你对JL说那番话（做仙），很伤人。”我火了。我有点生气得说：“你说我爱踩人，我还觉得你太sensitive。”连SY都一头雾水，不知道我几时‘踩’到人了。我解释说我真的只是开玩笑，WB却以为我知道JL不喜欢我，所以故意be sacarstic。我跟朋友都是这样说话的。我跟WB说：“如果不是要配合大家开玩笑，我才不管JL吃不吃什么。”

JL对我的笑话不笑是很正常的。Either她对我的dislike太深了所以笑不出来，or 我们的frequency真的相差十万八千里。辛酸的是，WB认识我那么多年，他还真以为我是这样的人。

雪糕咸咸的（1）

2010-04-07T22:40:00.002+08:00

亲爱的Baby

干妈还没来得及包你，亲你，疼你，你就这样走了。当我知道有你的存在时，好开心。你在新加坡的干妈们都好开心。谢谢你曾进带给我们快乐。我们爱你。

干妈

2009 年的最后一天

2009-12-31T10:30:00.002+08:00

终于2009年的big projects已经忙完了。
看着我的blog history，2009 年的entries是最少的。可能越来越忙，没经历去blog.

回顾2009年：
1）我换了新工作。请我的人却在我上任的第四个月辞职了。但也因为他的离职我才有发挥的机会。
2）我的奶奶去世了。不好的回忆也没了。
3）我到了好多国家。柬埔寨、泰国、香港和美国。过境日本机场算不算？
4）我还是单身。。。但是还是有被爱的感觉。不寂寞。
5）我在教堂担任摄影师。摄影技术有变好了。可以用manual来拍了。照片也常被放在教会的网址。
6）2009年开始的时候，我说过要读完bible。有读啦，但没读完。。。
7）2009年写歌的愿望夭折了。我不会做melody，有歌词没有用。
8）看过的明星，郭富城、郑伊坚、林志玲和周杰伦。
9）我29岁了。明年就30了。是3头的人当中最年轻的。

2009年过得无悔。
2010年期待你的来临。

The bad memories are gone with her.

2009-09-20T16:39:00.000+08:00

Today, most of the bad memories about her is finally gone with her.

My Ah Ma commented to the maid that she is tired and feels like sleeping when brushing teeth. The next minute, she lost conscious and turned cold. The maid alerted my dad who called me when I was still recovering from my flight back from Hong Kong in the wee hours of Sunday morning.

My brother and I ran to my Ah Ma's place two blocks away. She was already unconcious. I dialed 999 asking for assistance. But the stupid policeman asked me to call 995. Cannot transfer meh? Waste time. I held my Ah Ma's cold hands and kept on calling her, while waiting for the paramedics.

After a 10min wait, the paramedics are here. No pulse, no breathing. I went to the hospital with her. All along, me, the grandchild who has suffered the most under her mean ways was the only one with her at her deathbed. My brother and I were the only ones receiving the news of her death from the doctor. At that moment, my bad memories of her has left together with her spirit and soul.

I feel sad for this old woman whom I called Ah Ma. None of her children were around. Me who held her hands while she passes on didn't even shed a tear...

我小时候的志愿

2009-09-12T19:38:00.002+08:00

你还记得小时候作文簿上写的志愿吗？是否跟现在的你不一样了？

小时候的我有很多志愿。电影看太多就想当职业杀手，把坏人干掉。但是因为杀手最终的下场是死或被抓，所以便把志愿换成导游。当导游不错嘛。可以出国看世界。过后就没有人再问我我的志愿了。

记得曾经有想过要在娱乐圈混。但是我并没有刻意的找机会进娱乐圈。所以大学时，我读了生物。还在动物园上班。最后却误打误撞地闯进了娱乐圈。

会不会是命中注定呢？无论怎样，总比当职业杀手强吧。

我原来也会被讨厌。

2009-08-31T21:40:00.002+08:00

我一直以为自己的人缘很好，应该不会那么讨人厌。今天公司里的一个executive把自己的blog地址放上了msn。从我加入公司到现在，一直都是这个executive给我脸色看。我心里知道，她一直认为我不应该坐上这个职位。我好奇，便上她的blog看看。她真的讨厌我。我第一次看着别人写的那些辱骂我的字眼。她还认为我在背后捅她一刀，害她被老板骂。被讨厌，被冤枉的感觉真的不好受。
我到底错在哪里？我真的那么无能吗？我几时害她被老板骂了？老板每次问我对公司的人有何看法时，我都没提出她难相处的事。我没在她背后捅一刀啊！没有！没有！没有！

现在的心是酸的。就像酸溜溜的柠檬汁一滴一滴的滴进心里，慢慢被折磨。好希望来点淡而无味的白开水淡化柠檬汁。

咳。。。

有五月天，有你们的日子

2009-08-31T21:24:00.000+08:00

一连看了两天五月天的演唱会，突然又好多感触。不只五月天陪伴了我10年，还有你们。
还记得我们一起在Jurong East bus interchange一起排队用bus tickets换取SBS的演唱会吗？当时，我们最想看的是刚出道的五月天。演唱会上，我们不管旁人，跟着五月天一起high起来。
五月天在新加坡的第一场售票演唱会，也是他们的告别演唱会。在读大学的我们还是一起排队，一起挥动手上的荧光帮，一起跟着台上卖力表演的五个大男生唱沙喉咙，一起为来不及开始就要告别的五月天说再见。那时也是我们几个告别了一起看五月天演唱会的日子。
现在的我们，用着自己的方式支持五月天。就连看演唱会都已经有了自己的伙伴。虽然做事的方式不一样了，但是我们的心还是没变。我们还是跟10年前的自己一样，为五月天撑腰，为彼此撑腰。
朋友，我们之间接下来的10年，一定要跟五月天一样，只会越来越强，哪有变弱的道理。

谈钱伤感情。。。真的

2009-08-17T22:06:00.002+08:00

谈钱伤感情，是真的。

刚刚看完电影，妹sms来说妈妈骂她自私。她很生气所以在家后面的游乐场坐着。弟来接我的时候，说二姐一直骂他没用。所以感到很自卑，很难看。

这一切要从7个月前说起。。。弟想参加california fitness。我跟妹算了算，觉得很划算。比他一直去safra gym便宜。妹就决定帮弟先还。弟也答应每个月用打工的钱分期付款还给妹。怎么知道，弟打工的公司迟迟没有支付工资所以弟没办法还。妹从此就每个月唠叨他还钱。终于，妹决定每个星期从弟的零用钱里拿$10。一个月还$40。

但是不知道为什么，妹今天又吃错药，又开始唠叨。说她跟弟拿$10，为什么妈又给他$10。不公平。然后就接着说弟还欠她很多钱，害她每个月都没钱花。妈只好拿出$500现金给妹。妹在弟面前摇晃着$500现金，便说他没用。

过后大家都平静了。但是我那想太多的妈又从床上爬起来骂我妹自私。爸也跟着起床，也发脾气。想马上去上班（平时是凌晨1点）。爸总是爱说：“吵什么！不睡了。现在要去渔场。如果有什么意外，你们高兴啦！”然后就会气呼呼的在走廊抽烟。

我回来了。跟弟商量如何尽快把钱还给妹。还私邸下跟妹说她用语太重了，不应该跟弟说他没用。最后为了不要让妹一直唠叨，我决定帮弟还一笔钱。然后弟还我。妹就发脾气说我护着弟，说我骂她。我只是把弟还钱的对象改成我。

我那爱什么事都插一脚，袒护弟的妈，只会制造问题不会解决问题的爸，爱唠叨的妹，脾气坏的弟，还有不想介入争吵的我。最这样被钱夹在中间。

偶像剧

2009-08-15T09:15:00.002+08:00

这几天不知道心血来潮，重新开了我以前看过的偶像剧。我喜欢那种有钱少爷爱上穷女生的情节。《换换爱》，《流行花园》，《命中注定我爱你》，《浪漫满屋》等等，都是我爱看的。每次的感动，都是我以旁观者的角度去感受的。有时候我会想象，如果我是女主角，我还会像此时此刻的我一样感动吗？应该不会吧。

有朋友叫我不要看太多偶像剧。看了会脱离现实。但是我认为偶像剧有一定的真实在里面。怎么说编剧也是人。他的想象力再丰富，也得从现实生活中取材。看偶像剧，我并没有奢望什么。只希望我有一个跟剧里的结局的恋爱，有情人终成眷属。~

累。。。但是满足。

2009-08-11T23:45:00.000+08:00

真的好累。但是做得很开心。至少我开始有东西学了。虽然每天都要做到很晚才能睡，但是觉得很满足。希望这种感觉能够持久。

My First Speed Dating Dinner

2009-08-08T08:42:00.002+08:00

Last night was my first speed dating dinner experience. It started on the right note. John was being very nice by picking me up from my workplace. He works in Mandai, drove all the way to Tai Seng Ave and then to Orchard. He even agreed to send me home after dinner. The rest of the night should go on well, I thought.

Speed Dating at Hans, Park Mall

We went in and were given our sticker numbers. Coincidently, John and I were placed on table G. Jeffery was sitting there having his dinner already. We had exactly 35min to finish our dinner. We took our orders. Food was yucky. Then Marianne came. She's a fun girl. The dinner for the four of us were great. We were the loudest group of four, laughing and chatting away, while the other tables the guys and girls were having a silent dinner.

The Merry-Go-Round

It's time for the guys to move around. As some of the guys came late, they had to bring their dinner plate around. The first guy came with a plate of spagetthi. The rest came with their coffee. Most left their cleared cups and plates on our table. :( The guys have to move around every 10min.

The Opening

1. The guys sit down and look at the number pasted on my left side of my dress, look down the list and pointed at me, "You are Maggie." and pointed at Marianne, "You are Marianne." Looks up and say, "Pleased to meet you."

2. The guys sit down and look at our number and used a pen to make a mark on the name to remind them how many tables to go.

3. The guys sit down and stick out the hand and self introduce themselves.

4. The guys sit down and said, "please introduce yourselves."

Self-introduction

Surprisingly, no one was interested in asking the age. The usual self-introduction contents are name and the occupation. But there were men who actually wrote down our occupation beside our names on the namelist.

Self-introduction was pretty boring after the 5th round. We started out saying more about what we do. First round, Marianne self-introduced,"I'm Marianne and I work in the treasury of a private company. I handle cash." Fifth round, "I'm Marianne." When asked about occupation, "Treasury". So we decided since we know each other's opening so well already, we will introduce each other. The guys were quite surprised with the change. I guess we did right.

The guys (you girls must be waiting for this right?)

I cannot remember their names but these are some of the memorable guys.

1. Jeffery: A nice chap who shared a dinner table with John, Marianne and I. He was quiet at first but joined in the fun after breaking the ice.

2. The medical trainer: He trains new doctors in paramedics skills like CPR and etc. He continued by sharing the morbid truth of the training of new doctors. John wants to get to know him. But I forgot his name.

3. The "dao" auditor: He looked very distant when we were sharing. His partner, also Edwin said that he doesn't need to do auditing. Just supervise.

4. NUS linguistic lecturer: A round chap with a happy face. He kept saying he has been to many countries. He plays the piano and had many recitals. He has an upcoming one in NUS. Remembered him cos of his accent. He's an Australian Chinese who was born in Taiwan.

5. The telephone number guy: After self-introduction, he says, "let's exchange numbers first." Marianne and I pai seh to say no, so we put down our number along with those of the previous numbers he has collected.

6. Malcom: Look like in mid twenties. I remembered him cos I might need freelance designer for work. So I tell him if I got lobang, will look for him.

7. The very tired auditor: Self intro "I am . I am an auditor, sorry, I am very tired, old already. You all carry on with self introduction." He is turning 30 in a few months time. See his sian face, I also sian. We were his last table, can't he just try to pull through with a smiling face?

8. Jerald, The Organizer of Speed Dating: He was very long winded. He kept saying, "please hold polite conversation and don't ask sensitive questions." The rest of his speech was dotted with,"blah blah blah SHHHHH blah blah SHHHHH blah blah be quiet, let me finish, SHHHH.....SHHH....." and he is probably talking at a speed of 10 words per sec.

9. The "dao" woman: She is not a man to deserve to be part of this list. But she happens to sit just behind me. I can't help but listen to her converstation. She did self intro and continues to talk about women status in society in the past and present. John was totally put off by her.

We are supposed to submit our paper to say whom we are interested in. My paper was blank. I ended up helping the Marianne see the numbers of the guys she is interested in. I have three numbers on my paper; guy number 5, the lecturer who has his number printed in the paper and Marianne's.

Girls, let's go together again. Actually quite fun if you want to experience and see different men within the short 3 hrs.

我一定要任命吗？

2009-07-19T15:48:00.003+08:00

当初在动物园上班的时候，一直想出来看看世界。

读完了masters in marketing，我想学以致用。刚好marketing department有空缺。虽然只是executive position，我并不介意降低职位，只想开始我的事业的新篇章。我想marketing director提出我的想法，问她觉得我是否是适合的人选。她说会想想。几天后的一个晚上，marketing director 打电话给我。问我是否跟我的老板说了我的想法，如果还没，她会帮我说。我觉得为我老伴留点面子，我拒绝了。我说会自己向我的老板提出调职。

隔天我跟老板提出调职的意愿。但是老板却说：“你不可能会到marketing department当assistant manager的。跟何况你有没有marketing的经验，marketing director怎么会要请你。”我告诉她marketing director已经知道我想过去marketing department的事了，而且想跟她谈谈我调职的意愿。

再过几天后，老板说她跟marketing director和HR director谈过了。结论是“because there are many transferring going on now, it is not very healthy. so the transfer is not approved. furthermore, the marketing director wasn't very interested in having you either.”如果marketing director对我的调职没有兴趣，为什么要打电话to offer to speak to my boss?

就这样，我离开了动物园，找到了我以为是更好的工作。表面上salary 比较高，又是个marketing的工作。但是事实并非如此。开始新工作的第一个星期就后悔了。觉得离开动物园是一种错误。所以就这样过了将近3年。对娱乐圈产生了兴趣。

到了新的公司，现在的我并没有真正的开心。跟director谈了一下，她问我，“Do you have passion in this industry?”

我想了很久，对这个industry的确喜欢也很有兴趣。但是这份喜欢跟兴趣能变成热诚吗？Director说他知道我在旧公司的时候有一直想离开，跟他一样。但是他发现没有用，只好任命，乖乖屈服。用工作就做。我一定要跟他一样吗？

蟑螂不会长生不老术。。。

2009-07-11T08:56:00.000+08:00

我一直说我是只打不死的蟑螂。但是也只不过是打不死。我这只蟑螂还没学会怎样长生不老呢。这几天我发现我有老化现象。已经没有当年的精力了。在一车的人里面，我年纪最大的可能性非常高。我好害怕我的想法会变得落伍。好害怕会有一天跟不上年轻人。有很多时候是心有余而力不足。咳。。。蟑螂始终会有死掉的一天。

我自己的时间越来越少。。。

2009-07-08T23:03:00.003+08:00

在IF的时候，有时间回家跟父母吃饭，上gym做运动，跟siblings在家聊天和跟朋友出去玩。来SE的短短一个月，我的时间已不是我的了。几乎每天都工作到晚上8点多。但是i try to make it a point to work until 8pm latest。有几次7点回家就被公司的加班一族用异常的眼光瞪着我。我做错了什么？我的official下班时间是6点耶！

今天不知道为什么那么累。可能想念以前在IF的生活吧。好想念爸妈的脸，他们的声音。所以就打了电话跟他们聊了10分钟。那时已经7.30pm了。突然好想哭。这样的生活我还能承多久？现在我的工作多半都不是我拿手的。好多东西都要从新学习。好累。。。

我现在每天都告诉自己，“这只是一个过程，不是终点。终点一定会更好。”可能我熬过今年，工作熟悉了，会更好吧。

我是只打不死的蟑螂！

该放手了。。。

2009-07-08T22:44:00.003+08:00

这是我正是在新公司SE上班一个月。一个月了。。。好快。在这里日子过得特别快。我已经有两个星期没有去gym了。其实有啦，一个星期一次咯。我的肚腩越来越大了。好恐怖。

今天COO, FT开玩笑的问我到底有没有努力，为什么director, SB还是晚上11点才回家，而我8，9点就能下班了。我看着COO的桌子不知道要怎么回答。SB是个不懂得let go的人。很多事情还要管。其实在他的level应该让我们这些底层的人管了。今天FT要我做一份report给一个overseas client。是一份很简单的报告。SB有所有的资料。当我跟他拿资料时做报告时，他却说不用我做，因为他比较熟悉资料，他做就可以了。我开玩笑的说：“你一定要让我帮你。不然FT又要说我没有帮你，让你没得早回。”SB给了我一个funny look。我笑了笑，走开了。

为什么他就是不肯放手呢？是不是不相信我？我已经不是3年前那个blur sotong了。FT跟SB都曾经在我的旧公司IF当过我一年的上司。刚好那个时候我还是个黄毛丫头，什么都不会。他们走了之后，我和伙伴还是承担了他们留下的responsibilities。可能SB还没甩掉我黄毛丫头的image吧。。。

我人生的不同角色。。。

2009-06-25T22:57:00.002+08:00

今天又OT了。回家的路上，开始想我将近29年的人生。我发现我扮演的角色越来越多。有些角色做不好所以觉得有点惭愧。但是我每天都设法meet up to expectations.

我是妈妈的好帮手。。。

妈妈做不来的家务，我会帮忙做。煮饭、洗衣、打扫样样精通。

我是爸爸的乖女儿。。。

爸爸可以把家里的admin交给我。从来都不顶嘴。

我是弟妹的大姐。。。

当爸妈不在的时候，是唯一的支柱。不能有事难倒我。

我是老板的好助手。。。

可以为老板减轻工作负担。A problem solver.

我是属下的好老师。。。

我会帮属下develop themselves.

我是教会cell group的connect group leader

帮cell group leader处理admin的事。偶尔brainstorm一些点子让朋友完得开心。

我是photography ministry的ok女孩

只要是我做得到的，我一定做。

我是朋友的倾诉对象

我能帮朋友相通和看开。

我是大家眼中“打不死的蟑螂”

再怎么苦，我都会带着感激度过难关。永不言败。。。

想着想着，突然觉得好累。最后“我是我自己的。。。”我没有答案。我是我自己的什么？我的人生好像在位别人活着。这个list是不会完的。有一天我的角色会是老婆，妈妈，奶奶等等。越想越累。。。

你的角色是什么？

我人生的第一个马拉松

2009-06-01T11:09:00.004+08:00

5月30日，午夜12点
我开始了我人生的第一个马拉松 Adidas Sundown Marathon。为了要实现在人生步入第30个年头前的一个挑战。完成一个马拉松。之前一直想要为马拉松做点准备。最后在起跑的那一刻，我只在家后面的公园跑了2公里。不知道我要凭什么完成这其他的40公里。

开跑了。还没看到1公里的标志，我已经累了。该停下来吗？别跑了，用走的吧，我心想。但是身边的每个人都在跑着，如果我用走的，好没面子哦！妹妹跑着就跑到前面了。只有弟弟还在我的旁边。不知不觉，我们跑到了5公里的标志。看见很多人都慢下了脚步。有的开始走路。我想这些人一定是在conserve energy，我还是继续跑，到了后面就不会落得太后面。我当晚的终止就是不能是最后一个完成马拉松的人。不知不觉我跑了7公里。这时弟弟和妹妹已经不见了。我们各自挑战我们的极限。

前面的21公里大家都火力十足。多数用快走或慢跑。我凭着实力同样的完成了21公里。在21公里的标志后，我的实力已经到此结束，剩下的只有毅力。那时我的手脚已经肿起来了。鞋子变得很窄。脚趾好痛。那时的我变成了行尸走肉，已经不管脚有多痛，只顾着往前走。看见身旁挑战84公里的大叔还在走着（那时碰到大叔时，他已经跑了67公里了），如果我停下来真是太不应该了。一路走，看见很多参赛者在公园的椅子坐下来休息。我也好想坐但是没有位但是看见空椅子时又不敢坐，因为怕会慢别人。有几次我坐了，看着其他参赛者一个一个从我眼前走过，我总感觉离最后一名越来越近。到了30公里，我就不坐了。到了37公里，接到妹妹的电话，说弟弟应为旧伤复发在35公里休息，可能会放弃。在39公里，妹妹超越了我，也接到爸爸的来电，说弟弟已经在回家的途中了。好可惜，已经到了35公里了，之前的努力白费了。但是他还年轻，没必要为了一个马拉松而可能弄到自己以后行动不便吧。

40公里后，那种心情不知道怎么形容。自己离目标越来越近了。眼前就是终点，已经完成的妹妹在终点的旁边喊：“大姐加油。还有一点点。用跑的！”

5月31日早上8点10分，我把脚痛抛在脑后，铆足了全力冲向终点。过后拿着奖牌和finisher t-shirt，好感动。虽然要花钱，赠品不多，还搞到一身痛，但这一切是值得的。这次的马拉松让我更了解自己。了解自己对工作和自己的态度。

这绝对是一个实力和毅力并肩的学习战。

TRUST BETRAYED

2009-05-11T20:22:00.004+08:00

As a Christian, I thought I could trust all children of God. But today, I was proven wrong. One of them betrayed my trust for her own benefit (I think). To J, I hope you really benefited from this betrayal. I hope what you have done has saved your skin and your job. However, I do not attribute this to religion. I still love my God. This incident is purely a character problem.

Here's the whole story (though disappointing it's funny)

Let's welcome the characters....

J aka The Betrayal

C aka The Daughter

A aka The President

Last week I hitched a ride on J's car. As J is a Christian, I've decided to share with her my impending decision, hopefully I get a Christian point of view. I told J that I've only told her and asked her to keep it a secret. She's not to tell even the boss' daughter, C.

J: Of course. I won't say. I encourage you to go for it. If not for C, I would have left.

Today A asked me to her room.

A: I'm talking to you as a Christian. I heard that someone has approached you.

Me: Where did you hear it from?

A: Please don't be angry with the person. J told C and asked C not to tell me. But C had to tell me but asked me not to tell you.

Me: I am not angry. I am just disappointed that I have trusted the wrong person.

A: Please don't tell J that you know C and me know already.

The trust of 3 people betrayed. I am not going to tell on A. I'll just keep quiet until the whole thing is over. By then maybe it is no longer important.

有时没得选择是好的。。。

2009-04-24T08:52:00.002+08:00

很多人会埋怨自己被逼到一个死角，没得选择。自己在做的事是情非得以的。但是事情做久了也就习惯了。慢慢得进入舒服，慵懒的状态。就在这个时候，选择慢慢浮现了。自己就会开始和现状和可能之间挣扎，纠缠。害怕保持现状会一成不变，害怕选择可能会自讨没趣。担心失去现状会百感交集，担心错过可能会后悔莫及。

是你会怎么选择？

如果一切重来。。。

2009-04-04T08:17:00.002+08:00

有些事自己明明不喜欢但还是会做。
有些事明明做了也没意义但还是会做。
有些事明明做了知道会后悔但还是会做。
有些事明明知道是被利用但还是会做。
不了解为什么自己会去做这些事。
很多时候做了便自己对自己失望。
如果一切重来我还会去做这些事吗？
不做的结局会是怎样？
我一定就会喜欢那样的结局吗？
可能事情做多了便会喜欢呢？
可能事情真正的意义我还没摸清呢？
可能事情做了后悔是一种教训呢？
可能事情做了是互相利用呢？
我还会希望一切重来吗？
我这样的结局算好吗？

我生平第一次打999。。。

2009-03-30T08:43:00.002+08:00

29 March 2009

昨天帮妈妈买的衣服有问题，所以回到Metro换。脚好痛。一定是昨天在gym跑步的时候扭伤的。换了衣服，便马上到Hereen前面的巴士站等车。巴不得马上能到家。好热哦！太好了，荧光屏显示我的巴士还有5分钟就到了。

突然有个漂亮的妇女走过来对我说：“会讲中文吗？”我点了点头，以为她是迷路的中国游客。妇女说：“我的孩子不见了。他上了前面那辆巴士。但我没看清楚巴士的号码。你能帮我吗？”我一时傻住了。天啊，我自己也不知道该做什么。我打了给transit link求助。然后决定打给警察。拨999的时候紧张死了。我要跟警察说什么？这是我生平第一次打给警察嘞。警察让我们在巴士站等他们。妇女的眼眶红了。我拍拍她的肩膀，妇女哭了。为了安抚她，我问了她一些问题，帮她分心。原来是倍读妈妈。孩子8岁。刚到新加坡2星期。他们是苏州人。不愧苏州出美女。

两位警察终于到了，问了几个问题，打了几通电话。突然妇女的电话响了。原来是儿子打来的。儿子说有路人把他带回酒店。那是又两名警察来到现场。好多路人都看着了我们。好像呐喊，“我没有犯法。我是好人na!”

带着妇女找德士，我的脚好像不痛了。走得很快。看着妇女上了德士，我功成身退。走回巴士站等车。这时脚又痛了。。。

Metro Sale Survival Tips

2009-03-30T08:31:00.003+08:00

28 March, 2009

Today is Metro sale from 6pm - 11pm. I have a few items to buy. My mom's clothings, my mom's shoes, Clarins cosmetics and Clinque skincare. Today's sale is slightly different there is an additional 10% discount on top of the usual 20% discount during sale. The cashier's queue has started at 5.30pm. Here's some survival tips that I have learnt.

1. Get a man to stand in the queue while you shop. By the time you're done shopping, it's your time to pay.

2. Decline having your cosmetics being placed at the cashier of your choice (Metro cosmetic section usually puts your chosen items at the cashier that you will be making your payment. They will give you a coupon to redeem your products.) During sale, the cashier usually turns up in a mess and the cashiers usually can't find your things. With your items in hand, you can choose the cashier will the shortest queue.

3. Don't queue at the cosmetics level. Try going to the women's clothings department or the men's department to pay. The queues are much shorter there.

I finish my shopping at 7pm. With 45min spent in the queue...

我回来了！

2009-03-24T09:17:00.002+08:00

快要一个月了。我的柬埔寨4天3夜游的blog终于完成了。开始了blog才发现有好多人想到柬埔寨却不知从哪里开始计划。朋友和妹妹的朋友看了blog都觉得资料蛮仔细的。至少多数的重点都有了。突然有种想法。可能我可以做个travel journalist。帮杂志写travelogue。哈哈哈！想太多。。。

最近很容易疲累。连到gym的力气都没有。想到要运动就想睡觉。天啊！这样下去，我不肥死才怪。

我是个贪心的女人。。。

2009-02-23T18:30:00.003+08:00

我自认自己对衣食住行不阔气，但也不贪心。但是我对工作和自己的发展却是个十足的贪心女人。我对工作就像是在吃自助餐一样。什么都想咬一口，怕输，怕吃不到好东西。就算盘子满到事物露出来了，我还打死不让别人碰。我宁愿被撑死也不愿把盘中的任何一样我未尝过的食物拱手让人。

如果我说只是因为我爱学习，应该太虚伪了。没错，我是喜欢学东西啦。但是另一个贪心的原因是我喜欢被“需要”的感觉。虽然工作繁重，有时发发牢骚，但是这种被需要的感觉让我很快乐。不知道是不是我天性就是这样，还是后天的教育所造成的。也有可能因为我在家中是大姐，所以习惯被托付很多责任。或许我喜欢自找罪受吧。

现在工作算不错，但还能进步。老板给了我很多工作。虽然薪水没加，但是对我而言还不算是个大问题。有时当老板把一份工作让给我，我表面会埋怨一下，但心里却在暗爽。有时工作太难搞，做到要哭了，想放弃，心里却害怕如果放弃，机会就等于拱手让人。就这样我每次都硬着头皮把事做完。有几次老板把我的工作分配给我的同事，我的心理酸酸的。我到底是怎样啊！我快被自己气死了啦！

花样男子回来了！

2009-02-12T08:40:00.002+08:00

我最近又开始了我的韩剧风潮。这次是《花样男子》，韩国版。简称F4回来了。这次是4个韩国的美男子。

《花样男子》有好多版。我读了漫画，看了日本动画版，台湾《流星花园》，日本《花样男子》和最新的韩国《花样男子》。韩国的只播到第12集，一半了。台湾和日本版一样，男生只有花泽类好看。韩国版是四个都美咯。

真的佩服那些帮我们这些粉丝做字幕翻译的粉丝。韩国9点播放，凌晨3点我们就能在网上看到了。我想大家都颇不期待的想一直看下去吧。真是佩服他们。也感谢他们我才能享受好剧。

Kousuke Atari 中孝介《夏夕空》

2009-02-12T08:28:00.002+08:00

我喜欢的歌。听了有点伤感。可能是中孝介的歌声加上犹豫的音乐吧。第一次听这首歌是在看日本动画，《夏日友人帐》是听得。那是这首歌只是片尾曲。只有一分钟长。终于有完整版。

如果你有看《海角7号》，中孝介就事演唱会的日本特别嘉宾。边弹钢琴，边用他那特殊的歌声唱歌。好感动。

朋友听听看吧！

夏夕空 - 中孝介

Na Si Wa Wu Jit Ba Ban

2009-02-06T10:06:00.002+08:00

从小就一直听到大人唱着首歌“如果我有一百万”。但是我自己从来没有好好的想过如果我真的有一百万，我该如何处置这笔钱。这次突然有心情想想这个可能性。可能是因为朋友们都信心满满。还约好了星期一到Selegie去拿奖金。

如果我有一百万：
1。买condo，然后租出去。
2。买lens for我的相机。为我的50mm lens添“哥哥”和“姐姐”。
3。去diving。Sipadan我来了。
4。带家人一起出国。
5。投资弟弟的生意。
6。投资股票。

哇，想太多。。。不知道一百万够不够。
“发财”的呐喊。。。HUAT AH!

好玩！

2009-01-30T11:03:00.005+08:00

昨天cycle之前什么都没吃。这是我昨天的第一餐（3pm才吃）。。。世上最好吃得nuggets。那在手中，我的口水直流。颇不期待的想把它们送入口中。好吃！

我们cycle到frog farm。看见两种田鸡。有mating的，还有打架的。我和TSC好像是kaypoh的记者，在那里猛拍。TSC 还做了一小段的现场报道。以上是本报记者CSK所拍下的照片。

我们也到了牛场。但是没有牛奶喝。。。

等待TSC所谓的lamp post 30号。。。

痛苦的感觉，就是美丽的来临。。。希望这次有瘦到。

还是植物好拍。。。

2009-01-30T10:58:00.003+08:00

这些照片用Canon Powershot S2拍的。

这个应该是lily吧。。。

屁股好痛。。。但是心很温暖。。。

2009-01-30T10:40:00.004+08:00

好久没有cycle了。昨天和PSN & TSC一起去cycle。说要为Desaru做准备。借了TSA的脚车，椅子没有cushion的。屁股一定很痛。

这次的cycling trip让我好感动。我看到了朋友的关心。PSN 和TSC 知道我对cycling好有一点恐惧。决定好好的“保护”我。TSC 是我们的领队。PSN最在我后面看着我。全程只听见她们两个一直喊“加油！”。Cycle到后面，我的屁股真的好痛，PSN把自己的bicycle cushion借给我。相信她的屁股也痛吧。感动。。。我的两个好朋友的背影。。。谢了朋友。

My first studio shoot (me as photographer)

2009-01-30T10:21:00.003+08:00

21 Jan 2009

I went for my first studio shoot with me as the photographer. My greatest obstacle is to teach the models to pose. The models are not professional ones so need to teach. But it's the blind leading the blind. In the end, I told the models to treat me like I'm invisible. I will treat them like the subjects in church. Hahaha. I didn't make use of the studio lighting. I was shooting the process while the professional photographer is shooting.

These pictures are taken with a Canon 30D with 50mm lens.

This model swung the scarf more than 10 times for jus to acheive this effect. I took this picture while standing at the back of the main photographer. Of course his pictures turn out prettier. I'm very fortunate to be able to take one like this.

She is a mother of two and still look so pretty! Her big eyes are a draw. Doesn't she look like a Malaysian actress? Li Xinjie...

This is a happy model. She is always smiling. Her photos are taken with a smile because she looks better with a smile. This was taken when we told her that her shooting is over and she can take a rest. Happy....

These are two of the other photographers who like me are experiencing studio photography for the first time.

What a way to start my day...

2009-01-14T09:46:00.002+08:00

I am now an airport waiting for the cast and director of AWEW to arrive. Super sleepy now. I regret playing psp last night. Laying pipes and solving puzzles. In the end, I could not sleep. Pipes were swimming in my mind. I was on full alert state. When I finally fell asleep, I had a bad dream. I dreamt that my dad has passed away and I woke up in tears. I'm super sleepy but mind is still awake. Feels like a battered body and a sound mind. Tired...

从好朋友变成普通朋友

2009-01-09T23:56:00.002+08:00

今天我的一位15年的好朋友注册结婚了。她人生最重要的一刻。好想当场祝贺她，但是没机会了。我今天才知道这个喜讯，还是从另外一个朋友的口中知道的。为她高兴的当儿，我也感到一点遗憾。我们15年的好姐妹情却完全克服不了她的“不好意思”告诉我们。我想我们已不是从前的好朋友。也许做普通朋友，对彼此的责任也不会太重。我们对这份友谊有一份责任，我们都没有把自己的本分做好，才有今天的局面。

我在想其他人会不会觉得自己没被通知而感到难过。也许这是第二次发生在我身上吧。另一个好朋友生孩子的前一个星期，我才知道她怀孕了。我还在她结婚时当她的姐妹。

我们15年前说要当一辈子的姐妹，我想我们的愿望可能会胎死腹中了。。。

要打起十二分精神

2009-01-09T17:36:00.002+08:00

随着我的上司的离职，我的工作量越来越大，责任也越来越大。是件好事。还记得2008年初，我手上的工作很少。还有工作被同事抢走。最后还要沦落到帮那位抢我工作的同事作其他工作。从project的负责人，成为project的小角色。当时只是觉得自己被欺负但不敢出声。

上帝是公平的。我的默默耕耘有了成果。我那个不怕吃亏，愿意多做的mentality真有效。我连shit work都愿意做。我到处跟同事说"If you need help, let me know. I can help."不知不觉，我的portfolio越来越大。先在虽然还是不能独当一面，但是我知道自己成长了不少。我了解了一件事。少做未必是件好事，多做未必是件坏事。只要在做事的时候学到东西，那就没有白做。

还在等着breakthrough的来临。。。

2009的愿望

2009-01-06T15:57:00.002+08:00

终于“摸”出2009年的愿望。

1。完成一个42km的马拉松(Sundown我来了！）
2。瘦10kg（＄100是我的！）
3。学弹guitar（老弟已经放弃我了。。。）
4。完成一首歌
5。读完圣经（从去年读到现在，还没读完一半）

感谢上帝，感谢五月天《五月天新歌飚唱会》

2009-01-05T08:44:00.002+08:00

1月4日 Stadium Green 《五月天新歌飚唱会》

本来以为没有希望看五月天表演了，一直告诉自己要看开一点。没想到受到上帝的眷顾，让我侥幸地得到一张入场券。也要感谢Celine那么慷慨，把多余的票捐出来。好兴奋！

五月天《后青春期的诗》让我有很多感触。五月天是我大学时期的“精神粮食”。他们陪着我走过我的青春期。八年前我们和五月天一起狂跳，呐喊，摇滚。八年后的今天，我的后青春期的人生阶段，我还是以前的我，一起和五月天一起狂跳，呐喊，摇滚。虽然今时今日的我已经跳得不比以前高，喊到破音，但是我内心的五月天摇滚式心情变得越来越强。看到他们，就好像是看到老朋友。

感谢五月天陪着我度过我的青春期。我的后青春期也少不了你。加油！

2009年的愿望

2009-01-01T00:17:00.002+08:00

2009年的第18分钟。脑子有点一盘散沙，根本无法集中今年要做的事。去年的该做的事都还没做完。真逊！

展望我的2009年：
1）减肥，减肥，减肥。。。（我一定要赢得那＄100）
2）加强我的写作能力
3）加强我的法文，至少要读完一本法文故事书。（去年才读了2页）
4）把圣经读完
5）70% of 我拍的照片都能用
6）嘴巴要收敛一点

就这样。不要给自己太多压力。以上该做的事应该够了。朋友们，如果你看到我的entry，请时时提醒我。加油！

2008年的最后一个blog entry

2008-12-31T23:43:00.003+08:00

今天老板终于“觉悟”了。提早30分钟让我们下班。我想是因为经济不好，从去年的60分钟前下班减到今天的30分钟。我想我也应该知足了。至少有提早下班。

2008年是个对我来说是个有欢笑，也有眼泪的一年。年初我的头头离开公司。本以为我的挡箭牌没了，接下来就得接大老板的飞箭了。还担心自己会被乱箭射死。但是快一年了，我还是安然无恙，还保持刀枪不入的状态。能走到2008年的最后一天，真的不容易。过程充满了泪水和叹气生。但是还好我是打不死的蟑螂。我在远方瞭望到我的出头天了。加油！

2008年也有很多灾难；天然的和人造的。从中，许多感人的故事和伟大的英雄诞生了。没有挑战就找不到真英雄。值得欢笑的是有很多。最基本的是我还活着。接下来就是我的干儿子来到了这个世界。显然生命是如此的容易让我感到知足，让我喜悦。

啊，2009年了。大家新年快乐！因为住在市区，周围都有倒数派对。烟花炮轰的声音开始响起。灿烂夺目的花在漆黑的夜空盛开着。一朵比一朵更令人感动。还记得有一年我看着烟花流着眼泪，被感动冲昏了头。

标题应该改成“2008年最后和2009年第一个blog entry”。2009年的第16分钟。。。好累。。。

Frustration of Men

2008-12-15T14:32:00.003+08:00

Today I experienced the frustration of men when women ask them for opinions. We are self-contridicting creatures.

Case 1:
My business partner asked me opinion on an artwork. I suggested changing the text but she said "I want to keep the text. You got other suggestions?" I repeated, "I'm fine with everything except the text. Change it and you'll be fine." She replied, "But I want to keep the text leh...how?". I kept my silent. End of converstation.

Case 2:
Colleague: Should I have kids?
Me: Yes you should.
Colleague: But I can't imagine myself having kids.
Me: Then don't have it.
Colleague: But everyone around me want me to have kids, all except me.
Me: If you are okay, then have kids lor.
Colleague: But it's tough having kids.
Me: Up to you. Sometimes the more you think, you will never have kids.
Colleague: I'm getting old liao. Cannot afford to think so long.
Me: Then have kids. Don't think.
Colleague: But my back got problem. My husband and I are like two big children.
Me: Then don't have kids.
Colleague: I don't know. Should I have kids?

Case 1 & 2 happened in just 2 hrs span... Spare me!

公司的气氛沉重

2008-12-02T08:52:00.002+08:00

因为全球金融海啸，很多公司也没被幸免。为了让公司继续生存，唯一能做的就是宣告莫些员工阵亡。到底公司会如何选择“干掉”哪些员工呢？老板会选择能干的新兵，还是忠心的老臣？

因为裁员，员工的勾心斗角越来越严重了。大家都想保住饭碗。但是老实说，留下来的未必有好日子，一个人做两个人的工作，工钱没加可能还会减薪。走的可能是上帝知道你不走就不会去找更好的机会。有很多曾经被裁的人，回头想想，还得感谢裁掉他们的人。没有裁员，他们就永远找不到他们的财源。

Confess and Think Positively

2008-11-18T08:39:00.002+08:00

Recently in church, my pastor shared a great discovery.

In Japan, a scientist, Dr. Masaru Emoto did an experiment on the effects of words, music and thoughts on water. http://www.life-enthusiast.com/twilight/research_emoto.htm

He found out that positive words and thoughts produces beautiful crystals in water while words of negativity produces no crystals or ugly ones.

Adult humans are made up of 70% water. Hence any positive confessions and thoughts towards ourselves will have a positive effect on us. Foetus are made up of almost 100% water, that means 胎教 is very important.

Dear friends, do speak positively about others and yourself. When you do that, make sure you are thinking what you say too. Because the person's water content can feel whether you think of him/her positively or negatively.

To my dear habitual pessimistic friend, 不要一直往坏的方面想。往往事情原本没有那么糟糕，可能是被你越想越糟。

他刚刚交了女朋友

2008-11-16T23:10:00.002+08:00

你们应该知道“他”是谁吧。

我？没什么感觉。就是一个朋友交了女朋友。应该是因为很早以前就放弃了这个念头吧。祝福他们。

The Colleague Who Loves To Give Advise Part 2

2008-11-12T08:56:00.002+08:00

昨天JC有开了一个话题，又是针对我的。Buay tahan。

JC: Maggie, 我想你不应该喜欢这个industry (video industry)。因为是个sunset industry。

Maggie：我没有说我喜欢video。我是说我喜欢movies。

JC: 那你有打算move on 吗？你不是说新加坡的industry很小吗？难道你要等到有opening才走？

Maggie: 眼光不一定只是在本地。海外也有机会的。

JC: 那你还在等什么，先在就可以apply了。为什么还在这里？

Maggie: 我要学多一点东西才想要apply海外的工作。

JC: 不用，你可以去apply了。（她又说了很多）。。。。你要move forward。

Maggie: 我有在move forward啊（因为我觉得我还在学东西。）

JC:你不要那么defensive。

Maggie:那你跟我说了那么多，objective是什么？

In the end, 我们的谈话被一个colleague打断了。我不想跟她多谈了。为什么一定要找我开刀。旁边还有colleague说想找份govt工作，她连一封resume都没有寄。JC自己也常埋怨自己的工作没有variety。自己还不是退掉自己梦寐以求的工作两次。

The Colleague Who Loves To Give Advise Part 1

2008-11-12T08:40:00.002+08:00

最近我发现有一个colleague常常会找一些话题来给advise when no one needs it. 以下是我跟她的一次conversation。我们就叫她JC

JC: Maggie你有想过要找怎样的老公吗？

Maggie: 不知道自己要的是什么，但是跟男人接触多了，应该说自己知道不要怎样的男人。

JC: 那如果那个男人赚钱比你少，你会接受吗？

Maggie: 我赚钱已经很少了。如果男生比我大5岁，赚钱还比我少，那就完蛋了。他一定有问题。

JC: 如果男生读书比你少，ok吗？

Maggie：读书少但是有本事，能赚钱应该ok。

JC：但是读书少的往往是Ah Beng。你们会合得来吗？

Maggie：不知道，要看咯。不是每个读书少的就是Ah Beng。

JC：那如果那个男人不是Christian，你会接受吗？

Maggie：如果他能接受我为我的神所做的一切，又对Christianity has an open mind。我想没有很大的问题。

JC: Maggie, 不是这样的。。。。。。。。。（她说了很多，所以不想写了。）

Maggie: So what's the point of you telling me all these?

JC：我只想告诉你，不要desperate。不要随便就接受any man。

Maggie: 我几时让你觉得我desperate to find a husband?

JC: 我没有说你desperate。我是说你不要desperate。

晕倒。最后我就不想跟她多说这个topic了。。。

用人不疑，疑人不用

2008-11-06T08:52:00.003+08:00

刚从日本回来，有好多东西要做。我快疯了。

星期一，managing director走到我的桌子问我一些买片的事。我跟他说我已经在follow up了，只是卖家没有回应。然后我接着告诉他我也没有闲着，我还在买片。那些比较有指望的片子比较重要，就先解决那些事。

他说：“你的意思是你没有时间咯。”

我说：“是”

然后我就跟president说我跟MD说的事。MD最后问president我是否真的那么忙。President说“是”。我想用屁屁想也知道，之前走了那么多人，工作都落在我们生存者的手里，六个人的工作变三个人做。那里不忙。MD就是这样。老是疑神疑鬼，好像全世界的人都在骗他。

好想对MD说，“用人不疑，疑人不用。不要用‘我在栽培你’的借口来加重我的工作却不给我increment。”

上帝，离开的时辰到了吗？

Temples, wishes and hopes

2008-10-28T22:47:00.002+08:00

Ueno has lots of nice small temples with simple architecture. I was curious about why there are old people carrying plastic bags going around picking things among the trees. They are picking gingko nuts.

Tokyo Station

2008-10-28T22:36:00.002+08:00

Finally the day for me to explore Tokyo. First stop to Tokyo Imperial Palace near Tokyo Station. As it was a Saturday, it was not open to public. The palace looks humble on the outside with white and stoned walls. But there is a hint of extravagence and grand architecture beaming with pride from the inside. Very Japanese.

The place that I stayed for 5 nights

2008-10-27T20:50:00.002+08:00

I walk this road to work every morning and take this train to Roppongi. At night, it's time to relax. Shinjuku comes alive after office hours. Street performer (I saw him again at Ueno on Saturday) and people playing Pachinko (aka jackport similar). There are street performing every night and these talented people are waiting to be discovered by talent agencies and their big break.

The Place That I Go For Meetings For 3 Days

2008-10-27T20:45:00.002+08:00

Tokyo Tower finally lit up at sun set 5.30pm. Pretty and worth the wait. It was a rainy day that day.

Mori Tower is the place I go for meetings at 40th storey. I could feel the pressure on my ears everytime I travel up and down.

我是旅客！第五天。

2008-10-25T21:46:00.004+08:00

今天的行程排得满满的。早上九点就出发了。第一站，Tokyo Station。我要去看Imperial Palace。不知道为什么，我下了地铁，随便走就走到了皇宫。皇宫的外表很humble，但是里面一定非同凡响。从外面看，围墙的另一边又western和japanese的building。觉得这跟日本人的culture一样。外表看起来很humble，但是心里的ego却很大。路边的叶子变色了。好美哦！这也表示秋天已经开始了。

第二站，Ueno Station。来这里的目是看Hachi-ko的标本。它的标本就在National Science Musuem里面。花了500￥进去museum看了很多fossils。也看到了我想看的Hachi-ko。By the way, Hachi-ko是只狗。它是日本著名的loyal dog。在Ginza也看到了日本人在公园里捡ginko nuts。公园里有很多gingko trees。我把他们的行为偷拍了下来。嘿嘿。。。在这里也很巧的碰见那时在Shinjuku地铁站外耍“水晶球”的street performer。

第三站，Asakusa Station。那里有东京最古老的神殿。真的好大。Devotees所做的每一件事，都好熟悉。当然是从日剧那里看来的。Asakusa是的古区。那里还保留了古代的建筑。在这里用街边买的零食，就解决了午餐。

最后一站，我又回到了Shibuya。这次是为了看Hachi-ko的statue。那时来错过了。这次一定要拍了照片，才满足。晚餐就在这里解决。尝试了新的吃法。今天吃beef rice bowl。但是是间连锁店。那种快吃，吃了就走的那种。是在bar top吃。地方很小，但是因为顾客来去很快，所以客人都不需等太久就有位了。今天还逛了HMV和Tokyu Hands。在Tokyu Hands找到了我要得2009 planner。开心！

明天还有点时间。会到Harajuku看年轻人玩cosplay。一定会回来。但是回来之前，会先把日文搞好。我最常用的词汇是"sumimasen"和"arigato gozaiimas"。下次会更好。

Soo soo!

Yeah！最后一天的工作

2008-10-25T21:29:00.002+08:00

今天好开心。那个女人会新加坡了。早上起来还不忘打电话向她问好。要她到机场的当儿要小心。我的气消了。没事了。见不到就不生气了。

今天虽然会议不多但是我还是没有办法早回。最后一个会议在五点。天啊！我就在Roppongi和咖啡，闲逛，再喝咖啡。午餐跟一个business partner一起吃。所以吃得好一点。觉得有点无聊。天气又不好。昨晚的雨好像没有停过。这场雨一直下到7点多。

虽然无聊但是有些事却让我有点兴奋。第一，我看到有一群人在举牌抗议。还有loudspeaker咧。第二，我看见东京铁塔在gloomy的evening sky亮起来了。哇，好浪漫！东京铁塔真美。比在电视或照片上看还要美。今天的一切就像是上帝的安排。虽然一开始觉得很无聊，为什么会议那么迟。但是看到美丽的东京铁塔，一切的等待是值得的。

晚上没去那里。要在酒店plan我明天的行程。要做一天的tourist。到Takashimaya买了discounted的bento set。因为要关门的所以有discount。原来手脚要快。不可以想太久。好吃的都被别人抢光了。

第三天的entry

2008-10-25T20:55:00.003+08:00

今天的entry会很长。因为有好几天没有blog了。因为每天都在外面“流浪”到很迟，回到酒店跟朋友msn，做report，洗澡，等等。。。，累坏了。

东京，第三天
昨天差点没被气死。被那个女人backstabbed。她居然跟老板说我没让她一起去开会。骗子！明明是她自己不要参与的嘛。昨晚上说要讨论我们的工作的收获，最后只有我自己在说，简直就像是向她报告。没办法咯。谁叫她是老板的“干女儿”。
今天她决定跟我一起去开会了。但是她英文或日文都不会说。只是跟对方交换名片，然后说"Nice to meet you."。最后还是坐在那里6微笑，装听得懂。

今天的午餐吃便当。好贵的便当，要600￥（S$8.80)。只有饭跟Japanese curry。唯一的安慰是便当车的老板好帅。就当作花钱看帅哥吧。今天的会议不多，很早就能回酒店了。但是旁晚下了小雨。不知道会不会影响我晚上的节目。

晚上到了Shibuya逛街。没什么好买的。逛了一栋109大厦，我快疯了。脚好痛，肩膀很酸。晚餐吃得很饱。晚餐比较值得。580￥有一碗饭和一碗soba。是那种能站着吃的地方。但是我累垮了，所以坐着吃。

回酒店的路程中，我突然了解为什么日本人很少有胖的。除了饮食习惯，日本也有很多楼梯。我转的每一个corner都会face with 楼梯。在我很累的时候，我在想我这个trip爬的楼梯可能比我半年爬的楼梯还要多吧。

明天是会议的最后一天。。。期待。

第二天，觉得好累

2008-10-22T21:42:00.002+08:00

今天一大早就起床。认床，所以睡不着。今天的约会排得满满的。好累哦！没喝够水，所以头痛死了。回来酒店我已经不想见到我不想见到的人了。然后还被那个人冤枉。幸亏老板的妹知道发生什么事。

今天晚餐到一间小拉面馆吃。终于在拉面的发源地吃拉面了。真好吃！吃饱了便到处逛。昨天看见很多人在玩抓娃娃机。以为很容易。本想抓几只娃娃送给朋友。抓一次100￥。最后花了200￥还是爪子空空。不玩了，骗人的。

然后到地铁站门口看街头艺人表演。那位男生表演在10秒内把方块各转回原来的颜色，还有单手耍5立水晶球（其实我们都被骗了。“水晶球”原来是rubber balls）。但是还是耍得很好。围观的人可能有60位吧。日本就是人才济济。我把身上的零钱（约40￥给了他。感谢他为我带来10分钟的快乐。）

明天快点把事做完，要去逛街咯！

日本，东京，新宿（第一天）

2008-10-21T22:22:00.003+08:00

今天早上在新加坡机场还有一点紧张。不知道自己会不会从成田机场(Narita Airport)到酒店。因为语言不通所以有点担心。今天有很多第一次，第一次真正的自己出国公干。第一次搭SIA，第一次到日本，第一次自己出国那么紧张。

真的，上帝对我实在太好了。这次的行程很满，所以没有机会到富士山(Mt Fuji)，看看。但是在飞机上，坐在我旁边的印度先生突然指着窗外的三角形。原来那是富士山的peak。他说我真的很幸运，他一年到日本四次，都很少看到，这次我第一次来就看到了。至少看到富士山的peak，没有觉得很可惜了。

昨天internet check-in的时候，我还想换位子，但是最后还是没换。没换是对的。我和印度先生的中间没人，所以有自己的空间。也就是坐在那里才知道富士山的peak长得怎样。最后，印度先生还很好心得带我去买前往新宿(Shinjuku)的地方。他自己是要搭巴士的。耽误了他好多时间。真是让我遇贵人了。买了车票后，才发现只剩4分钟，地铁就要走了。如果miss掉，3，000+￥的车票就不能用了。距离有约200m。我背着一大一小的backpacks做200m dash. 让我赶上了。进了地铁过不了多久，门就关了。今天的机场也比平时来的少人。印度先生还说"You very lucky"。有上帝照着，哪里会不lucky.

今天也是大姨妈的第二天。通常我会在这个时候cramp到死去活来。但是没有cramp。太棒了。

酒店很容易就找到了。我pray过要8pm到酒店。印度先生还说有点难。

这里的人好会穿衣服。我好像，哦巴桑一样，衣服好orbit。走在新宿的街道上，仿佛自己在日剧里面。好浪漫！这里只有20c。自己好像在一个很大很大的aircon room。厕所的马桶还能帮我洗屁屁。

太棒了。。。爱上日本。。。

满满伟大的理想

2008-10-08T23:11:00.003+08:00

小时候看着电视，就希望能认识电视里的人。渐渐的长大后，我开始了解电视里的人在一个叫做娱乐圈的地方工作。当时好想进娱乐圈工作，但是又不想成为一个艺人。在我读大学的时候，朋友问我，我的理想工作是什么。我说我想进娱乐圈但要做艺人背后重要的人。回想起来，我好像不知不觉地走到这条道路。虽然还称不上是艺人背后的重要人物，但是这个梦想已经不是只是个梦想了。至少我看得见眼前的路该怎么走。

但是要怎样成为艺人背后重要的人呢？我终于了解为什么我会感受得到艺人选择自杀的痛苦。我很希望能帮助他们。

其实每个人都有自己的一条路要走。如果走错路，这条路会走得很坦克。如果走对了，再怎么辛苦都是值得的。我觉得，现在我走的这条路虽然走得辛苦，但是走得很满足。公司不好并不代表工作不好。这几天的烦恼终于戒除了。

我又为了我的理想作了些什么呢？现在我在开始学怎么辅导我们一般的民众。可能是在为未来做准备。走到今天，好像就是早有安排。

我的另一个梦想就是能出一本书。一本用照片和文字来辅导和鼓励别人的书。然后再为常常被误解的艺人出一本书。内容就好像书名《让你了解XXX》。希望这本书能让民众接触对艺人的误解。现在的我，学摄影变得更有意义了。

以前的我只想做自己喜欢的事。但是这种喜欢是短暂的。一直到我得到启发后，这种喜欢才能持久。我的理想有了充满意义的目标。一个能帮助人，能改变一个人的一生的目标。

不管将来的路好不好走，我相信，只要沿着自己的路走，不要迷失方向。我一定能抵达终点。朋友们，你也要加油哦！

Is there really no other way?

2008-10-07T22:17:00.002+08:00

I think people who have been following the entertainment news would have read that in a span of two months, two Korean celebrities have committed suicide. I searched the web and most of the celebrities commit suicide because of false rumours. I really understand the meaning of 人言可畏.

Sometimes I would ask myself, "Is there really no other way?" I felt very burdened by their sadness. Don't they have anyone to talk to? What went through their mind the moment when they want to end their life? Why can't they seek help? It's not the end of the world. People in the 3rd world country and struggling to survive in the midst of their poverty, while people in the modern countries get troubled by wagging tongues. Why didn't someone reach out to them to help them tide over the difficult situations? Celebrities have to suffer such greater setbacks in the same situations than normal people like us.

Most of the times, I wished I had the ability to be a listening ear and help them. What can I do?

我这样算自私吗？

2008-10-03T12:36:00.003+08:00

这几天我在想我这样想，算不算自私。

因为莫种原因，我的工作包括了当buyer。这几个月，外国有几个trade events。以为这次能出国见识一下trade events是什么一回事。但是最后发现没有我的份。出国见识的机会给了另外两个同事。

老板说她们没有当这方面buyer的经验，要我教她们买东西的equation。老实说，我也没有经验。我花了一个星期的时间做研究，打了一份报告。最后我决定不把所有我搜查到的资料给她们。我只给了最基本的资料。反正最后获益的不是我，所以我觉得没有必要给她们太多。

现在，她们两个人在韩国。还得教其中一个如何当buyer，如何negotiate。我在新加坡发号施令，cover她们的work。

今天其中一位打电话来问是否要买一批货，要用多少钱去买。老板也知道这件事，便叫我教教这位同事。我不在现场，所以只能叫她收集资料。回到新加坡后我再跟联络人洽谈。我好累。不知道自己为什么要那么拼命。好处都没有我的份。对公司而言，能者多劳嘛。

我想老板一定是很“看得起”我吧。觉得我不需要到trade show就能当buyer。真省钱！

有一天我离开这里，我不会把我自己所累积的知识教那两位同事。希望她们能原谅我自私的想法。

I finally understood...

2008-10-02T10:02:00.003+08:00

Recently, I am feeling the same feeling I felt during my last days in my previous job. I began to dread coming to work everyday. I was feeling frustrated at why I was feeling this way and what about my current job that led me to this stage. I tried talking to my close colleagues and friends and still not able to find an answer.

Finally I spoke to someone influential in this industry and understood why I am feeling this way. My current boss could not give me a vision that I needed, or rather I can agree with. To me, he is not able to lead me. I'm just running forward without a direction. I am like a soldier gunning down enemies without understanding what I am fighting for.

I've never regretted joinging this company. Although eventually I didn't get what I really want, at least I manage to clearly understand what I don't want. Knowing all these, I am able to let go of things that I have been holding on too tightly.

Cheers to a happier future!

世界上最远的距离。

2008-09-22T08:54:00.002+08:00

昨天很巧的，在聚会，ESY就坐在我的后面。但是我们只说了一句话。我问他“你要不要吃糖”。ESY说：“Ok, thanks.”。过后聚会开始，就算有机会跟身边的人说话，他的对象从来都不是我。

我跟他的距离很近。我听得到他的笑声，也听得到他在唱歌和祷告。但是我却觉得我离他很远。比我跟舞台的牧师的距离更遥远。心中有点冷。

聚会后，很巧的，我跟ESY一起在吃饭，我们的身边都坐着十几个朋友。他就坐在我的对面。先在几乎能听到他的呼吸。但是他的目光总是在其他人的身边。坐在桌子尾端的朋友都能跟他聊天，我们只有对着对方微笑。看着他和其他朋友有说有笑，有点羡慕。

那顿午餐，让我深深的体会到什么是“世界上最远的距离就是我在你身边，你却不知道我喜欢你。”

蟑螂被打死了

2008-09-19T16:32:00.004+08:00

我连仗都还没打，就已经可以举白旗了。

刚才朋友告诉我，牙医有打算出国深造。所以目前没有交女朋友的念头。嘿。。。我放弃了。看吧，朋友们，我可不是打不死的蟑螂。

各位，请不要给我那种“你还有机会”或“等他回来”的念头了。

Get Real!

2008-09-09T17:12:00.004+08:00

Recently, a colleague of mine, LSM started becoming a nusiance to my colleagues and I. His designation says "graphic designer". However he does not work like one, though his attitude screams one.

In entertainment industry, it is probably easier to strike lottery than not get any last minute and extremely urgent jobs. He should know since he has been in this industry longer than I am. He's being ridiculous to demand all jobs to be given to him 3 days in advance.

His "designer attitude" is unbearable. Well if he has the creativity and the talent, by all means throw his weight around. I do not care about his attitude as long as I get my job done. But with LSM, it's job not done properly + "designer attitude".

Today, I just commented on an artwork and requested he do minor changes. He came back with an email explaining why I should appreciate his artwork.

1. He spent a long time conceptualising it.

2. He feels that his is simple. And simple is good.

Eventually, he said he will make the changes. So this is what I want to read. Waste my time reading his reasons.

Get real! Who cares how long you have worked on it. If the client (me) is not happy, you ain't getting any dough. It's the real world. You can work on something for 3 years for all I care, if eventually it's not what the client wants, change!

He kept thinking that everyone is against him. But I think he should reflect on himself when all colleagues liasing with him finds the same problem with him. Even our working partners are facing the same problem. Check your metre ruler, try measuring yourself before complaining that other people's metre ruler is not accurate.

I wonder with all these frustrations, why am I not getting any slimmer. Sigh...

朋友们谢了！

2008-09-08T09:05:00.002+08:00

朋友们，谢了。但是PSN说我坚持不渝也好，叫我毅力不到也好，叫我意志坚强也可以，不需要把我比喻成蟑螂吧。还是打不死的蟑螂嘞。哈哈哈！客位，我没事了。其实我现在比较concern的是我的training to become a cell group leader。有点stress。

最近生病了。医生给了我3种药。我说这3种药有点矛盾。2种药吃了会cause drowsiness。第三种吃了cannot sleep or lie down for the first 2 hours。我真的很能dong，不要躺下或睡觉。但是很辛苦。这些药好像在考验我的意志力噎。还有两天要就吃完了。希望药到病除，不需再吃。。。

有一点失望。。。但是没事！

2008-09-05T08:54:00.002+08:00

从现在开始“他”就简称“ESY”。

本来还很期待十月的来临。因为我能和ESY在一个activity里互动1.5个月。咳。。。昨天朋友告诉我不可能了。ESY 会出国，所以他不会出席那个activity。害我白高兴一场。先在唯一能多了解他的机会都没了。朋友说可能不是时候，因为 ESY 先在的 focus 可能不是在感情上。他先在可能 focus 是在 how to be a good servant of the Lord。我了解也接受了。

可能上帝觉得还不是时候吧。可能时机不对。如果先在开始，可能也不会有结果。我看着办吧。已经不想再多费神，执著于早已注定的事情。经历过那种执著的痛苦，怕了。先在我会 get on with life。怎么说，我还有一群好朋友陪我晚上一起上webcam一起笑，一起聊天。

我知道，TCC一定在想：“这个CSK很Ah Q 嘞”

Why must I be dragged into this battle?

2008-09-04T17:58:00.002+08:00

I've always considered myself as a neutral party when it comes to office politics. I want to be sitting on the fence.

I am happy that I am getting a bigger portfolio at work. However, that slice of the pie is taken from my boss' plate. Being a possessive person, she will definately be not happy about it. Anyway, my boss has a way of keeping her slice of pie in her own plate. She has done it twice, she can do it the 3rd time.

I'll just pray hard that God will show me the way avoid fighting and still win.

I'm innocent...

是不是就是他。。。

2008-09-03T17:35:00.002+08:00

认识他有两年了吧。每次见面只是打招呼而已，并没多说什么。朋友曾经跟我说过我们两个站在一起时，看起来很配。但是我也没有想太多，就让这个remark过去了。

两年后，有一天，因为莫种原因，我们坐在出现在同一个聚会里。我不知不觉成了他的助手。那是突然脑子里有一个念头，这个男人挺不错的。他lead我做事的时候，我感觉很好。可能这辈子lead人太多了。被lead的感觉很好。我越想越多，还想到嫁给这样的男人应该会很幸福吧。哈哈！真的是想太多。刚好我的朋友是他的mentor，所以就问朋友他是怎样的人。朋友说他是一个passive的人，如果我不主动，是得不到结果的。所以我还是和从前一样，不能享受被追求的感觉。又是我追别人。咳。。。曾经这位朋友有建议我考虑他，但是我当时拒绝了。对，我 take back my words。

他是个很斯文，很踏实的人。很meek也很善良。做事很认真。最重要的是，他爱上帝。但是我不知道喜欢他哪一点。但是我认识这种喜欢的感觉。很踏实，很真。不像以前那些relationships那么的不切实际的感觉。我会记得这种喜欢的感觉。就算将来我的真命天子不是他，我也会依这种感觉为表准。

祝我好运！

p.s.如果想知道他长什么样子，我的facebook有他。。。嘿嘿嘿

2008-09-02T08:59:00.001+08:00

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

2008-09-02T08:57:00.001+08:00

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are very passionate and quite temperamental. While you can be moody, you always crave comfort.

You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.

You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself.

Your near future is a lot like the present, and as far as you're concerned, that's a very good thing.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

2008-09-02T08:55:00.001+08:00

You Are Pasta Puttanesca

Compared to most people, you have a sexy and wild personality.

So it fits that you're like a pasta popularized by street walkers!

You like food with interesting, contrasting, and spicy flavors.

You live an exciting life - and you wouldn't ever go for anything bland.

What Pasta Dish Are You?

2008-09-02T08:53:00.000+08:00

You See the World Through Yellow Colored Glasses

You live your life with optimism. You remain happy through the bad times, and your outlook remains bright.

You judge all interactions through the lens of hope. You try to see the best in people, and you give them the benefit of the doubt.

You face challenges with a spirit of adventure. Things are what they are, so you might as well make the best of them.

You see love as the utmost expression of personal joy. You tend to be attracted to lively, friendly people.

At your worst, you are a bit petty and jealous. You want to be everyone's shining star.

You are happiest when you're daydreaming or thinking up fresh ideas.

What Color Glasses Do You See the World Through?

我还是哭了。

2008-09-01T08:57:00.002+08:00

臭TCC，你好样的。一个sms让我破功。我哭了啦。还以为不去送机应该没事了。最后一个sms就让我哭了。好吧，笑吧，笑到肚子痛，活该。

自己一个人住还习惯吗？公寓还合“胃口”吗？你保重啦。

友谊万岁！

2008-08-30T13:20:00.003+08:00

我的标题应该会被投诉很“怂”吧。虽然很老套，但是，我的心里真的是这么想的。

今天有空，所以就update自己的blog，也到好朋友们的blog读一读她们的心情。原来nee和nic都在blog TCC即将要到bkk做工的事。我们这群朋友一路走来编制了很多美好的回忆。从刚认识时，一起K书，到毕业一起拿成绩。然后大家一起上大学，现在已经在社会工作了有5年了吧。从中，受到了不少她们的鼓励，也希望自己也有赵富她们。我们的友谊从开始的一起开心，到互相包容，到互相勉励，这一路走来，不容易。好感动。对她们有千言万语的话要说，但是说不出口。我们都是十年的朋友了，应该不许多说什么吧。我们的友谊，唯一小小的遗憾就是牵不住ling的手。。。希望有一天她能归队。。。可能只能希望了。

这里有一些话想对我这非一般朋友说。

TCC: 你终于勇敢的踏出第一步。你就像是一块被石头包着的好玉。这次是你被调成器的时候了。你会是个无价之宝。加油！

Annie：真的是 A for Annie。我们读书时就是这样了，现在还是这样。好的你都有。很开心你有一个对你好的HN，一份好的工作，还常常中lucky draw。要珍惜你身边所有的 A。

Nee：很佩服你不管旁人的意见和眼光，想做，认为是对的，你都会去做。你对小孩的爱心无限。真的对你由衷的佩服。因为你所是的，我都不是。为你找到理想的工作感到快乐和幸福。

Zhen：为人师表。读到你的blog，很开心知道你受到学生的欣赏。你不知道你蛮搞笑吗？是你自己不知道吧。你是除了nee以外，有一份伟大的工作的人。希望你能交出漂亮的成绩！

Swing：要有伟大的梦想，把你的爸爸的公司发扬光大。你是行的。到时候不要忘记我们哦！希望你的他能带给你幸福。看得出他很疼你。。。

Ｃｈｒｉｓ：你读不懂就找字典。但是我不会写太难读的东西。华语对你而言，一切从简。我认识你最久，但是见你最少。要努力让自己健康起来。这样才能一起去ｇｙｍ。

最后我要呐喊：“友谊万岁！Ｈｕａｔ　ａｈ！”

我会想你的。

2008-08-30T12:58:00.002+08:00

虽然我们平时已经不常常见面，但是这次不一样，已经不是想见就见了。

昨天msn时忘了问你是达几点的飞机。现在我在blog时，不知道你上飞机了没。如果还没，我祝你一路顺风，如果上了，应该还没到，所以还是祝你一路顺风。说好了不会去送你，就不去。我也不喜欢这种离别的心情。记得最后一次送机时送他。感觉就像是我们永远都不会再见了。虽然脸上表现得若我其实，但是心已经是在颤抖着，酸酸的。好害怕这次如果大家要去送机，我应该会哭，然后被你们取笑个十年吧。

TCC，那天在一起吃晚餐时，真的很开心。虽然没有山珍海味（幸亏没有，要不然迟一些，全部就送给马桶了），但是跟你们一起吃，比山珍海味更好。Sorry, 没办法多跟你聊天，好可希。多谢上帝造就了伟大的电脑专才，发明了msn。好了，还是不要说了。再说下去，我真的会哭的。

我们很快会再见的。在再见面之前，我们就带着对彼此的回忆，在心里想念。保重，老朋友！

Yes, my nick is 满满

2008-08-25T22:38:00.002+08:00

I think most of my friends now would have discovered that my nickname is called 满满. Although it sounds "cheena", it's a good name. The nickname means full, just like my current figure and like my optimism. I rather see an empty cup as filled with air.

I pray that with this nick, my
purse will be 满满 with money and not receipts
brain will be 满满 with knowledge and not worries
heart will be 满满 with joy, happiness and peace and not sadness
figure will be 满满 at the boobs and not at the arms, thighs, waist and hips
days be 满满 with laughters and not tears

So 满满 is not a bad nick to have as long as it is not 满 at the wrong place.

My friend is going to work overseas

2008-08-23T11:14:00.004+08:00

Though I already have friends and relatives living overseas for quite a number of years already, this time feels different. Finally she is taking a leap of faith for a possibily better future.

To: TCC
TCC, you must jia you! In this 3 months (yes, you heard me correctly, only 3 mths), you must do you best. We in Singapore will cheer for you in Bangkok (yes, correct again. not very far). If don't know how to cook anything or need encouragement, I am one msn away.

TCC jia you! TCC jia you! TCC jia you!

Would you want to be this person?

2008-08-17T19:11:00.003+08:00

Would you want to be born a ADHD (hyperactive) child?
Would you want to have a long and thin torso with arms disproportionate to your height and short legs?
Would you to have a size 14 feet and double-jointed ankles (ankles that can bend beyond the point of a ballet dancer and can cause some complications)?

Sounds sad? Sounds challenged? Sounds weird? Thank God you weren't born that way?

Well...if you were Michael Phelps, you thank God for being born that way or today, you will never be the world's greatest athele with 8 golds in one Olympics (the most), applauded by the world.

My point is never look down on the physical appearance or personality you were born with because you are designed to excel in something. Be it in sports, or any other things. Take courage, you will find it if you search for it hard enough.

Remember...NO ONE IS GOOD FOR NOTHING. NO ONE!

Powerhouse!

2008-08-13T08:53:00.002+08:00

Powerhouse has been going on for two days and this is my first time joining. Thank God it is a 20min walk from my workplace.

For the past two days, my flesh got the better of me and I went back to sleep after the alarm went off at 5am. So I decided to fast yesterday to bind the devil and commit my body totally unto God. I woke up at 5am today looking forward to Powerhouse.

Though I pray every morning, it is totally different to be praying in the house of God for a solid 1hr. Totally fulfilling. I feel joy overwhelmed me. A good start to my day at work.

I just stepped into the office and my colleague immediately noticed a difference in me. She said I look radiant and in a good mood.

It's Powerhouse again tomorrow!

"I feel good, da da da da da da da, I feel good da da da da da...How about you?!"

8 August 2008

2008-08-08T08:54:00.003+08:00

Today is 8 August 2008 (888). Huat ah!

August 8, 1876: Thomas Edison receives a patent for his mimeograph
August 8, 1908: The Wright brothers' first public flight.
August 8, 1947: Pakistan's National flag is approved.
August 8, 1949: Bhutan becomes independent.
August 8, 1988: Burma "8888 Uprising"
August 8, 2008: Beijing, China Olympics

*Too many events to be listed. So only listed a few interesting and relevent ones.

2008-08-08T08:52:00.001+08:00

I was watching a TV programme and learnt this.

"If you share your problems, they become half as bad. If you share your joys, they become twice as good."

在我妈的眼里，妹妹和我变成了黑心的女人

2008-07-13T16:39:00.002+08:00

妈不知道几时从一位亲戚的嘴里听到，到英国读书，回来新加坡能赚大钱，才能掏碗饭吃。回来便告诉我们她有意思送弟弟到英国读书。我们对她说了我们的看法。

如果弟弟有本事，新加坡大学也不错。但是弟弟现在不是没有本事。他廷聪明的。只是爱玩电脑，没心读书。这样的人不值得花一大笔钱，送他到英国读书。分明是浪费！

妈听了骂我们没良心。自己有饭吃，就不管弟弟了。亲戚说我们都做工了，可以帮忙补贴弟弟英国读书的学费。一个人补贴个几万块应该没问题吧。妈越气，说的话越过分。说什么我们的钱不用来补贴弟弟的学费，就会花掉，搞不好还会拿去贴小白脸，养别的男人。原来我们在妈妈的眼里是这样的女人。

现在我开始在想，妈妈当初生我们是为了什么。是为了将来能跟孩子伸手要钱吗？还是因为要拥有把孩子养大的满足感。我想妈是属于前者吧。如果有一天我打算有孩子，我不会期望孩子以后会报答我。我希望那时的我是为了追求抚养孩子的满足感。

今天的心好酸。。。

其实笑会让人更美丽

2008-07-02T08:48:00.003+08:00

好想对这个朋友说：“其实只要你常笑，就会很美丽了。”

我有一个朋友，她今年已经要34岁了。保养得很好，看起来像是27岁的女生。听起来好像很不错，可是她总是带着一幅苦瓜脸，好可惜哦。最近她做了lasik之后，穿着也跟着年轻化了。她寻找自己的风格，带些首饰和化妆。但是苦瓜脸还是带着。

朋友没有结婚，也没有男朋友。并不是她不美。我认为是苦瓜脸在作怪。她可能应为做事太执著于莫些细节所以让自己的压力变大。每天的心情好想有人谦她的，让周围的人都不敢接近她。没有意思想了解她的人，可能永远不会和她交朋友。她什么都做足了，只差个笑容。。。前功尽弃。

朋友，让你的嘴角弯一弯，露点牙齿吧！

2008年半年的最后一天

2008-06-30T22:20:00.002+08:00

再过一个半小时，2008年正式宣告过了一半。今天突然有点感慨。好像这半年里没什么成就。好像一事无成的样子。从gym一路回家，在巴士上一直在回顾。头都想到要爆了还是没想到什么成就。就只不过瘦了3kg。到云南玩了10天。年初决定要做的事情，到现在一个都没有开始。真逊哦！

我讨厌这样的自己。为什么年纪越大，就越没劲达成目标。年轻时，冲劲十足，说到做到。唯一可以安慰自己的是减肥我廷执著的。可能已经减肥了27年，已经成了我生命的一部分。

不行！不行！不行！我要开始冲刺。一定要完成今年要做的事情。明天是下半年的第一天。一定要有好的开始。

不一样的look

2008-06-29T19:04:00.003+08:00

最近换了个新发型。也没什么变。就只是把留海剪断，让自己显得比较年轻。多数的朋友和同事都喜欢我的改变。只有少数觉得不适合我。可能看起来有点装可爱吧。不管啦。反正不剪都剪了，而且还得到好评嘞。

要改变自己的look不是那么简单的。当中有时间和金钱哦。我并没有很多时间，钱更不用说了。有那么多必须改变的地方，如果时间能够停止，钱从天上掉下来的话，那该多好啊！

人年轻时，总想把自己打扮得更成熟。现在人老了，后悔了吧！

我的年龄随着地球一起老一天。

2008-06-27T08:53:00.002+08:00

最近不知道为什么，突然害怕自己接近30岁，人生的另一个10年的开始。20岁的10年好像才刚开始不久。这10年我到底做了些什么令自己骄傲的事呀？我过地快乐吗？有没有精彩10年呢？好害怕回顾。但是时间不能浪费。至少我还有1年多的时间来补上这10年的不足。虽然时间不多，但是至少还有时间。

我第一件做的事就是防老。从20到26岁之间，我没有护肤。脸上的黑斑已经出现了。现在眼下还有细纹。我的天啊！从去年开始我就对护肤过程带着比较认真的态度。下个月开始要开始尝试吃Amino collagen。托同事从台湾买回来。新加坡太贵了。明年会考虑做IPL美廖，把黑斑laser掉。但要看口袋是否有钱。

青春万岁！

2008-06-20T09:00:00.000+08:00

Night Cycling 23 May 2008

2008-06-20T08:52:00.004+08:00

5月23日
我的第一次night cycling.

kopi嫂夜间自行车之旅，出发！

kopi嫂半途被鳄鱼埋伏，支援支援！

大力士。

身分对调

2008-06-11T08:51:00.002+08:00

从星期一到四，我和爸妈的身份对调。爸妈因为在同一间公司上班，所以一起被派去上四天的服务课程。这几天早上，都是我上班，他们上学。开课的前一天，妈妈还很紧张。好像第一天上学的小学生一样。还一直自言自语，说不知道铅笔够不够用。结果上课回来，我妹翻了翻她的作业簿才发现她一个字也没写。原来妈妈不识字，反应又慢。老师已经降到西边，她还在东边开步走。爸爸今早还问她是否要帮她做作业。妈妈却理直气壮的拒绝了。她说约好同学，今早借他们的作业草。

这一切对我而言又新鲜又熟悉。新鲜的是爸妈上学的样子我从没看过，熟悉的是这一切我都经历过。不知道他们年轻时是否也是这样的。。。

没有公共假期

2008-06-09T08:46:00.002+08:00

天啊！为什么？为什么？幸福总是那么短暂。2008上半年的公共假期已经被用完了。从现在到9月，一个公定假日都没有。这不会是实施。我不接受！这么可能6月、7月、8月和9月都要每天上班。。。

好像离开地球哦！

锦绣2重唱

2008-06-02T17:49:00.001+08:00

好久没有听到《锦绣2重唱》的歌了。

好歌推荐

我的快乐 Wo De Kuai Le - 锦绣二重唱 Jing Xiu Er Chong Chang - 锦绣二重唱 Jing Xiu Er Chong Chang

完美的爱情

2008-06-02T16:24:00.002+08:00

最近一直在看台湾偶像剧。一直让我觉得无聊的偶像剧，竟然能让我领悟了自己到底在找些什么。

《恶作剧之吻》和《恶作剧2吻》
爱情就像一壶开水被放在炉上烧开。有些人的爱情一开始就用大火烧。爱得死去活来，轰轰烈烈。但是水很快就烧开。接着就会被烧干。最后把壶底烧破。壶再也不能装水了。没用了。爱情应该慢慢的烧。一天比一天热。一天比一天更爱对方。长久的爱情，我期待着。。。

虽然世上有90%的事情他做不好，我却做得好，但是世上其他10%的事情只有他能做的。爱情不就是两个人互相扶持，一起做到世上的每一件事吗？这样的爱情才能算是100%完美的结合。

朋友，你知道自己要的是什么吗？

The First Bus No. 197

2008-04-24T08:49:00.002+08:00

Today is the first day I decided to try going to the gym in the morning. I woke up at 5am hoping to catch the first bus. I don't know the time but I thought it should be about 5.45am.

At 5.40am, I reached the bus stop, with the noisy conversations of aunties and uncles welcoming me. Everyone was friendly with everyone. They are all there to wait for the first bus. It was a heartwarming sight.

I waited for 30min and still no sight of my bus. A kind auntie told me that my bus will arrive at 6.20am. My mum has even arrived at the bus stop for her bus to work. She is taking the same bus as I am. My mum has been taking the bus for the past 2 years without knowing that it's the first bus for the whole day.

After wasting so much time, I realise one thing. Knowledge will save me a lot of time. But then, I learn from mistake. Next time, I'll take an mrt instead.

Jason Mraz - I'm Yours

2008-04-18T09:21:00.002+08:00

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it

I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted

I fell right through the cracks

And now I'm trying to get back

Before the cool done run out

I'll be giving it my bestest

Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention

I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me

Open up your plans and damn you're free

Look into your heart and you'll find love love love

Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me

I like peaceful melodys

It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love

So I won't hesitate no more, no more It cannot wait I'm sure

There's no need to complicate Our time is short

This is our fate, I'm yoursI've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror

And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer

But my breath fogged up the glass

And so I drew a new face and laughed

I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason

To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons

It's what we aim to do

Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more It cannot wait I'm sure

There's no need to complicate Our time is short

This is our fate, I'm yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me

Open up your plans and damn you're free

Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love

Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me

I like one big family (2nd time: I like happy family)

It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love love love

I won't hesitate no more

Oh no more no more no more

It's your God-forsaken right to be loved, I'm sure

There's no need to complicate

Our time is short

This is our fate, I'm yours

No I won't hesitate no more, no more

This cannot wait I'm sure

There's no need to complicate Our time is short

This is our fate, I'm yours, I'm yours

Report From BBC - Got Your IMEI Number Yet?

2008-04-18T09:11:00.001+08:00

Help for lost and stolen phones

Dial *#06# to find out your phone's ID numberMobile phone owners are being urged to register their phones with a national database of handset ID numbers
Backed by the police the Mobile Equipment National Database is intended to get phones back to phone owners if their handset is lost or stolen.
The database has been created as crime statistics show that more than 50% of street crime involves a mobile phone.
And a survey reveals that more than half of all mobile phone users have lost a phone in the last three years.
Lost and found
Although administered by a private firm the Mend database has the backing of police forces in the UK.
Adam Lindsay, crime prevention officer with the National Mobile Phone Crime Unit, said that the scheme was currently being promoted to those living in London.
About 80% of British adults own or regularly use a mobile phone according to figures gathered by the Office of National Statistics. Ownership figures are even higher for those aged between 15 and 34.
Mr Lindsay said that currently more than 10,000 phones are lost or stolen every month. Transport for London, which oversees the capital's travel infrastructure, currently finds more than 600 phones per month on its buses, trains and tubes.

Top of the line phones are attractive to many thieves"Previously we've asked people to use a UV pen to write their post code on their phone," said Mr Lindsay.
But, he added, this was becoming less effective because thieves were using their own UV pens to scribble over any post code they found written on a handset.
Those signing up to use the free database should register the IMEI or equipment number of their handset, said Mr Lindsay.
Most phones will show this IMEI number if users punch in *#06#.
Changing the IMEI number was much more difficult said Mr Lindsay and should mean that people do get their registered phones returned to them if they are recovered or found.
Mr Lindsay said the subsidies that phone operators apply to handsets means that legitimate users get them cheap but they represent an object of high value to thieves.
Often, said Mr Lindsay, drug dealers will accept a phone instead of cash as payment.
Statistics show that 11% of all crime involves a mobile phone, said Mr Lindsay.
Access to the database was limited to the police, said Mr Lindsay. Organisations, such as Transport for London, that want to return lost phones to owners will have to apply via e-mail.
Figures gathered by replacement phone firm Retrofone show that a lot of people regularly lose their handset.
A survey conducted by Retrofone found that almost 52% of those questioned have lost their phone in the last three years.
One person questioned was unlucky enough to drop their handset into the toilet at the Glastonbury Festival.
More than a quarter, 26%, of those who responded said they had lost two or more phones in the same period.
Olly Tagg, founder of Retrofone, said he started up the service as many people did not want to pay lots of money to replace the expensive handset they had just lost.
Mr Tagg used to buy and sell old phones on eBay but has now set up a dedicated firm selling old, reconditioned handsets to people who want a replacement.

Mobile Phone Lost!

2008-04-16T09:01:00.002+08:00

On Saturday, 12 April, 2.15pm was the last time I saw my mobile phone. I was careless enough to leave my Sony Ericssion K800i on the treadmill and rush for my gym session. 45min later, I realise my phone was not with me and my search for it was futile. The reception did not receive any lost and found mobile phone. Though I cried for my loss, I was still hopeful that it will come back to me by God's Grace.

Till today, no news of my phone. But I have a revelation on why I was feeling so sad when my phone was lost. Retrieving the numbers was not a problem for me with the help of msn and friends. The songs can be downloaded again. I was not able to come to terms with the loss of the photos left inside. The saved messages that were precious to me. Unknowingly, I have invested my feelings into my mobile phone and grown attached to it emotionally.

I learnt my lesson. The next time I own a new phone, I will not do the same thing again. The phone shall function as it is supposed to be. The make calls, take calls, send & receive sms. I will still take pictures but I will download into the computer all the time.

Honey & Clover

2008-03-28T08:54:00.003+08:00

Hurray! is here as drama series.

I finished anime almost a year ago. I was deeply touched by the sincerity of the show. It did not promise a fairytale kind of love but a truely realistic one. It's a story about 5 university students and their triangle loves. Through the eyes of Takemoto, it tells of a about unwavering but unreciprocrated love.

The story of the drama has changed slightly but nonetheless, the main essence is still intact. I also realise that Taiwan has also remake this anime. Not sure if I'm going to watch it. But will definately find the manga to read.

Oh...can't wait to start on episode 5 tonight.

This is episode 13 of the anime. The girl Yamada has been in love with her friend Mayama for a long time. However, Mayama is in love with an older woman. She's talking about her unreciprocrated love.

MY JOURNEY 我的旅程

NEW BLOG ADDRESS!

糟糕。

My Life Changing Experience

我的小小心愿。。。

你是哪种药？

我看到的未来是一个人的世界。。。

雪糕咸咸的 （2）

雪糕咸咸的（1）

2009 年的最后一天

The bad memories are gone with her.

我小时候的志愿

我原来也会被讨厌。

有五月天，有你们的日子

谈钱伤感情。。。真的

偶像剧

累。。。但是满足。

My First Speed Dating Dinner

我一定要任命吗？

蟑螂不会长生不老术。。。

我自己的时间越来越少。。。

该放手了。。。

我人生的不同角色。。。

我人生的第一个马拉松

TRUST BETRAYED

有时没得选择是好的。。。

如果一切重来。。。

我生平第一次打999。。。

Metro Sale Survival Tips

我回来了！

我是个贪心的女人。。。

花样男子回来了！

Kousuke Atari 中孝介 《夏夕空》

Na Si Wa Wu Jit Ba Ban

好玩！

还是植物好拍。。。

屁股好痛。。。但是心很温暖。。。

My first studio shoot (me as photographer)

What a way to start my day...

从好朋友变成普通朋友

要打起十二分精神

2009的愿望

感谢上帝，感谢五月天《五月天新歌飚唱会》

2009年的愿望

2008年的最后一个blog entry

Frustration of Men

公司的气氛沉重

Confess and Think Positively

他刚刚交了女朋友

The Colleague Who Loves To Give Advise Part 2

The Colleague Who Loves To Give Advise Part 1

用人不疑，疑人不用

Temples, wishes and hopes

Tokyo Station

The place that I stayed for 5 nights

The Place That I Go For Meetings For 3 Days

我是旅客！第五天。

Yeah！最后一天的工作

第三天的entry

第二天，觉得好累

日本，东京，新宿 （第一天）

满满伟大的理想

Is there really no other way?

我这样算自私吗？

I finally understood...

世界上最远的距离。

蟑螂被打死了

Get Real!

朋友们谢了！

有一点失望。。。但是没事！

Why must I be dragged into this battle?

是不是就是他。。。

You are The Wheel of Fortune

我还是哭了。

友谊万岁！

我会想你的。

Yes, my nick is 满满

My friend is going to work overseas

Would you want to be this person?

Powerhouse!

雪糕咸咸的（2）

Kousuke Atari 中孝介《夏夕空》

日本，东京，新宿（第一天）

2008年半年的最后一天